Page 107

But I’ve finally realized that loving someone doesn’t always mean you get to keep them.

Sometimes it means letting them go, even when everything is screaming at you to fight.

How can I keep fighting for someone who won’t fight for herself?

“Go. I won’t stop you. Not anymore.”

For a second, she looks like she might say something. Instead, she opens the door and steps onto the front porch.

“I hope one day you’ll finally choose yourself,” I say just as she’s about to shut the door. “If not for you, then for your baby.”

She holds my gaze for a beat, everything she won’t say swirling in her eyes. Then she does what I knew she would all along.

She walks away.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

WYNTER

The living room smells like cinnamon, pine, and the faintest trace of the ham Mom made for dinner. Music plays softly from the speaker, Bing Crosby crooning about a white Christmas while the lights on the tree blink against the windows.

It’s beautiful. The perfect Christmas. At least, that’s what it should feel like.

I stare at the mountain of presents surrounding the tree, almost all of them for the baby. Mom definitely went overboard, especially since I’ve only known I’m pregnant for a handful of days.

There are tiny onesies folded into little stacks. A stuffed penguin. Books about first Christmases. A soft gray blanket embroidered with snowflakes. Socks so small I can’t imagine a human foot actually fitting inside them.

This is how I always imagined spending Christmas as a soon-to-be mom. Sitting by the tree, surrounded by gifts for my baby. Instead, I feel none of that excitement. Just a heavy feeling of dread weighing down my stomach.

Over the past few days, I’ve blamed it on morning sickness.

I’m starting to think it’s not, though. That it’s because of Joshua.

I’ve been replaying my last conversation with him over and over. And that dance. And that kiss.

God, that kiss.

The warmth of his lips. His strong hands around my waist. The way everything else disappeared. We were back in our bubble.

And then I popped it.

What choice did I have?

I made a promise to Wyatt. I told him I’d try. I owe it to him to at least do that.

Don’t I?

The tree blurs in my vision, and my gaze drifts out the window and toward the house next door.

It’s dark. Has been all day. I didn’t expect Joshua to spend Christmas alone, but I thought there might be some sign of life. There’s been nothing.

“Joshua’s father had to go back to D.C. for a work emergency or something.”

I look to my left as Bennett drops onto the couch beside me, a beer in his hand.

“He’s spending Christmas out there with him, in case you’re wondering.”

With a dismissive shrug, I turn back toward the tree. “He’s your friend. I only⁠—”