Page 43 of Indecently Daring

Mrs Potter beamed and hurried off, closing the door behind her.

Harry shifted awkwardly. “I don’t want to impose….”

“Nonsense,” Michael waved this off with a gnarled, arthritic hand. “You need to get something off your chest if I’m not mistaken, and Mrs Potter’s steak and kidney is nourishment for the body and the soul. It will do you good.”

For a moment, Harry remembered Alana Cadogan setting a bowl of delicious stew down in front of him and his heart gave an uneven thud in his chest.

“Well then, what’s amiss?”

Harry sat staring at the fire for a long moment and Michael simply waited. He never rushed anyone, content to wait until you were ready to speak.

“I’m not… I don’t….” Harry sighed. “I’m afraid.”

“We’re all afraid of something at some time. What is it that frightens you, Harry?”

“Failing,” Harry said, putting his head in his hands. “I’ve paid off my last debt, Michael, and that… that felt so good. I did it by myself. I took control of my life, like you said, and it was all coming right. It felt like I was finally putting the past behind me.”

“Felt? Past tense?”

Michael’s keen eyes bored into him, and Harry swallowed, raking a hand through his hair.

“Temptation keeps putting itself in my way. I’ve tried to avoid it, but… I’m afraid I’m not strong enough. I don’t know what to do. I’m terrified if I fail, then I’ll fall. It will all come crashing down around me and I’ll—”

“What nonsense.”

“It isn’t nonsense!” Harry retorted, a little stung. “You’ve always given me more credit than I’m due. You don’t understand how hard I must fight it, all the time, how often I’m close to giving in.”

He let out a breath and sat back in his chair, mortified at having sounded so angry, for such an emotional outburst.

“Have you had a drink these five years? Placed a bet?”

“No! You know I haven’t,” Harry said, scowling.

Michael shrugged. “Then it is nonsense. You’re winning, and you’re winning because you’re strong and courageous. You’ll keep winning because of that, too.”

Harry shook his head. “I failed. Today, I failed.”

Michael sat up straighter, his bony hands clutching at the arms of the chair. “I thought you said you’d not had a drink, or laid a bet?”

“I haven’t! That’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?”

“A pig-headed, aggravating, beautiful, wonderful girl is the problem! She’s driving me to distraction. She’s everywhere I go, everywhere I look, and today… today… I…. In the church, Michael! Against the bloody altar!”

Harry put his head in his hands, tugging at his hair and avoiding Michael’s gaze, too mortified to meet the old man’s eyes. There was a tense silence… and then Michael roared with laughter.

Harry sat up, glaring at the old man with reproach. “It’s not funny!”

“Oh, you sit where I am, lad. It’s funny. Truly.”

“Did you hear what I said? I made… advances to her. In the church!”

“Yes, yes. Against the altar!” Michael whooped, wiping his eyes. “Ah, what it is to be young.”

“I don’t think you’re taking this seriously,” Harry grumbled, folding his arms. “I mean, where will it end?”

“Oh, come now lad, surely I don’t need to explain that to you too? Don’t you know about the birds and the bees? Do I need to have a little talk with you?”