Page 54 of Good Directions

13

SAWYER

I can do this.

Twisting my phone in my hands absentmindedly, I try to work up the courage to unlock my phone and send this text. To show my weak underbelly.

I rearrange myself on the bed, propping the pillow up on the headboard, trying to sit up as much as possible. The house is eerily silent, both Miss Belle and Auggie gone about their business for the day. Which makes sense—it is the middle of the day on a Wednesday. That also means I should have gone back to the lab or to the grove I was working in prior to being picked up for lunch. But the only place I could think of was here.

Anton’s childhood bedroom.

Eliza’s voice rings out in my head, urging me to do what I know I need to. Let down my walls—or at least open a door or window—letting Anton in a little bit. Easy for her to say though. Real her or the in my head version. Because she has a way with people that I don’t. My freakout just now is a perfect example. A normal person would have used their words. Would have had words to use. Not me. Even now, I don’t know what to say to explain how I’m feeling or why I did what I did.

That doesn’t change that I need to. Because I saw the hurt in Anton’s gorgeous ice-blue eyes as I pushed him away. A hurt that sliced through me like a hawk swiping its prey from the ground—swift, deep, and out of nowhere. Although unlike that hawk, this left a mark.

Time to put on my big girl panties.

Hi

I hold my breath. Closing my eyes, I lean my head back, reminding myself that it could be awhile before I get a response. That Anton probably isn’t glued to his phone waiting for me to reach out. My phone chimes almost immediately though, my heart jumping.

Anton

Hi.

Well, that’s a good start.

I’m sorry.

You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean to push you into doing something you didn’t want to do.

I smile, my heart squeezing. I can almost see the worry on his face, softening me to him even more. The last couple of days with him have shown me a whole new side to Anton Hayes. One that I really like.

You didn’t.

It’s just…

Open the window, Sawyer…

Just what?

I don’t know how to say this

Whatever it is, it’ll stay between us.

Promise.

You can tell me anything

Sucking in a deep breath, I read his last message again. You can tell me anything. Despite our rocky start, I believe him. I know that whatever I tell him is going to stay between us.

Doesn’t make this any easier.

It’s kinda embarrassing

More embarrassing than a grown-ass man being afraid of armadillos?