Page 65 of Ash Fall

Except now he's here. He's alive, close enough to touch, and every time I look at him I keep finding pieces of the Mars I loved mixed in with this changed version. There are moments when he looks at me and I remember exactly what it felt like to be his. Kissing until my lips hurt, laughing into his chest, believing him when he told me we had all the time in the world to figure out what came next. Then I remember waking up after losing my entire family and discovering I'd lost him too.

Both things are true, and I have no idea what to do with that. It would be so much easier if Mars was the only man screwing with my head. A hysterical laugh almost escapes me as I cross toward the Escalade. Not that long ago I told Gage all of us needed to start living again, that we should start dating. At no point during that conversation did I think the universe might interpret it as, Excellent idea, Luna. How about you date all of them?

I drag a hand over my hot face. This is insane. I can’t have feelings for all of them and they sure as heck can’t all have feelings for me. It just won't work.

"I’m losing my mind."

Kara is leaning against the Escalade when I reach it, arms crossed over her chest and sunglasses hiding her eyes. I head toward her because right now I need another woman, preferably one who isn't my grandmother and therefore won't immediately suggest an orgy as a practical solution to my romantic problems.

Before I can say anything, the motorhome door opens behind me. Mars steps out carrying a travel mug, and I tell myself not to look, then look anyway. He pauses at the bottom of the steps, scans the rest area, and heads toward the Jeep.

Kara follows my gaze, and I feel her attention shift back to me even through the sunglasses.

"Please don’t."

Her mouth curves. "I haven't said anything."

"You were about to."

"I was going to ask a perfectly innocent question."

"Nothing about that smile is innocent."

She pushes her sunglasses up onto her head. "Didn't you just come out of there?"

I let my head fall back against the Escalade. "Yes."

"And then Mars came out after you."

"Yup."

"Have a nice chat?"

My head turns enough to look at her. "I don't know if nice is the word I'd use."

"Oh?"

That one tiny sound somehow contains enough interest to power a gossip column for six months. I sigh before answering her. "I asked if we could try being friends again."

Her brows lift. "And?"

"He said yes."

"That seems nice."

"He also told me he's never going to stop wanting me, never going to stop loving me, and that he's going to keep fighting for us."

Kara's eyebrows climb higher.

"Awkward."

"Again…yup."

"But..." She draws the word out while she studies me. "Is that something you would want?"

I stare at her until she holds up a hand. "I don't mean right now. I'm not saying you should climb back into bed with the man during a ten-minute bathroom break. I mean someday. If he actually proves he's changed and you trust him again, would you want him back?"

Yesterday my answer was immediate. Today it gets tangled somewhere between my heart and my mouth.