Page 127 of Scarred Crown

“I broke up with him after you kissed me.” She sets down her glass and turns in the bath so we’re face to face. “I want you to see me when I say this, and I’ll say it as many times as you need me to, okay? I realized when you kissed me that I loved you.” Her gaze shifts over my shoulder in a faraway expression. “There was always something missing or not quite right between me and Alex, but I couldn’t figure out what. And then you kissed me, and it was the biggest lightbulb moment of my life. I didn’t feel what Alex wanted me to feel because I already felt it for you.”

Not gonna lie—her explanation floods my body with warmth. But I can’t get stuck on the past because, although that still bothers me, it’s what’s happening right now that’s the real problem.

“And now?” I ask. “Are you two friends? Best buds? Acquaintances? Employer and employee?”

“Is this because of today?” Jules asks, averting her gaze to pick up her wine again.

“I wasn’t thrilled to discover my wife crying in my older brother’s arms.”

“Yeah, I can understand why that would bother you.”

I tip my wine glass up for a long drink. “You and I spent fourteen years dancing around each other. But from my perspective, every time I turned around, you and Alex were huddled together. For years. I need to understand or put what I saw today in perspective. It’ll drive me insane otherwise.” It already has, several times over, but she doesn’t need to realize that.

She takes a deep breath and seems lost in thought for a minute while she sips her wine. “I’m not sure you’re going to like what I have to say.”

“Hit me with it.” The heavy band around my chest reappears.

“Alex is a very lonely and isolated man, and he was a very guarded teenager too.”

Not exactly the terrible declaration I braced for. “That’s because he’s an asshole. No one wants to be friends with an asshole.”

“I said you wouldn’t like it.”

“What does his self-imposed isolation have to do with you?” I don’t bother hiding my annoyance.

“After we stopped being friends, I was lonely too.” She meets my gaze.

“Are you trying to tell me you’ve had sex with my brother?” An irrational spike of jealousy emerges from its very brief slumber. I knew it was a possibility, but I never intended to ask.

“No. I’ve never slept with Alex.” She slaps my chest and water sloshes over the edges.

“And you never will. That’s the second half of that sentence.”

“That’s a given. If I haven’t yet, it’s not going to happen at all.”

“Damn right.” I slide forward and plant a kiss on her lips.

She twists around in the bath and settles her back against my chest again. With her free hand, she links her fingers with mine. “I just meant that, in the absence of our friendship, I became closer to him, I guess. Never the same way we were.” She slides her fingers along mine.

“I’m not following.” Or maybe I don’t want to follow because it sounds a bit like Alex replaced me in a way.

“We’re friends. Alex often uses me as a sounding board or confidante, I guess? If he needs help with a situation, he’ll call me.”

“You’re the one responsible for him being an asshole?” I’m teasing, sort of.

She reaches back and pinches my nipple.

“Oww.”

“Deserved it. I’m trying to be honest, and you’re poking fun.” She half turns to meet my eyes. “I’ve been careful not to let our friendship creep into anything resembling a relationship.” She gives a rueful smile. “I’m guessing I know Alex as well as he’s ever let anyone know him.”

“So not particularly well.” It’s a snarky comment, and I let out a deep breath. “Whatever friendship you’ve had with him, I’m not okay with what I saw today.”

“I get that. I’m sorry.” She squeezes my hand. “If I was in your shoes, I wouldn’t have handled it nearly as well as you did, as you still are. He caught me at a bad moment when I was feeling low.”

“I want to be the person who lifts you up when you’re feeling low. I want that back,” I say gruffly.

“Oh, Nick.” She sets down her wine and turns in the tub to straddle me. She cradles my face and stares deep into my eyes. “You are the first person I think of whenever something bad happens. You are the person I want to talk to most in the world. He just happened to be there today. But I promise you I will be more conscious of how I am with Alex in the future. It won’t happen again. I promise.”