Page 34 of The Intimacy of Control

Grimacing while sucking on a straw wasn’t the easiest thing I’d ever done, but I’d somehow done it. “Loaded question. The short answer is no.”

“And the long answer?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Let’s just say there’s more than one reason why I left California.”

“Will you tell me about it someday?”

I glanced away, not sure if I really wanted to answer that. I didn’t want to promise him too much of me. For all I knew, we’d end this whole thing between us tomorrow, and it’d be like nothing ever happened. That wasn’t what I wanted, but it was another thing outside my control. Another reason I didn’t do relationships. Another reason why this whole thing was one big, giant mistake I couldn’t bring myself to run away from.

Sliding back in the seat, I shrugged. “I guess we’ll have to see.”

“I guess I shouldn’t be asking on our first…friend date, huh? It’ll probably take a few, won’t it?”

“At the very least. Oh, um. I went to the clinic this morning.”

“Oh?”

“Yep. Should have my results in a couple of days. I’ve been on PrEP consistently, though, if you were wondering about that.”

He flashed me a big, gleaming smile. “Good. Me too, and I’ve always used condoms. But we can talk more in depth about this when we discuss the other big things.”

I tilted my head. “Other big things?”

He leaned forward and winked at me. “Sex, Jackson. The benefits part of our arrangement.”

Goddamn it. My name was a weapon on his tongue, and I’d given it to him. I bit the side of my cheek to keep any reaction at bay. “Right. When exactly are we going to have that discussion?”

“I’ll be off work the day after tomorrow.”

“I can be there by eight PM.”

He shifted backward from the table. “Good. I should head back to work, but look for a text from me. Fill it out before we see each other again, and if you have any questions, text me.”

“Fill what out?”

He was already standing up from the table. “You’ll see. Bye, Jack.”

I watched him leave, wondering if the fluttering in my chest was a side effect from the ocean or if it was a side effect of liking Forrest. Not that I really liked him all that much. No, that wasn’t me.

At least, I didn’t think so. I just didn’t have any control over how I felt around him.

chapter thirteen

Forrest had sent me an entire kink compatibility sheet. I’d been filling it out for the better half of the day, coming up with all sorts of questions for him.

How long have you even been into this stuff?? You’re so young…

Forrest

Lol. Into it? Since I can remember. Practicing it? I met some cool ppl and they taught me everything I need to know. Been practicing kink for 6 yrs.

Holy fuck.

Forrest

Yup. Got more questions?

I scrolled back up through the document to see if I’d had any.