Page 35 of The Intimacy of Control

No. Most stuff is self-explanatory and I have private tabs if I need to look stuff up.

Forrest

Good. Lmk if you need help. Not long till 8.

Yeah, I’d have to finish this up and leave soon if I wanted to make it. I got my test results back quicker than I thought I would. The email was sitting in my inbox, taunting me with the fact that I’d have to log back into the clinic’s portal to pull them back up and show Forrest.

There was a box at the bottom of the extensive lists to include verbal and nonverbal safe words. I wrote those in there, using the ones we’d already established, and saved the completed file to my phone.

I’d been working on admin shit for a little over five hours, and my brain was truly about to shut down. Hopefully, we’d be able to put some of these new things we’d learned about each other to good use tonight. I wanted to get out of my head. Go somewhere else, like that floaty, content place Forrest seemed to take me. I was excited at the idea of being able to have a dreamless, restful sleep with a sore ass and marked-up body.

I still had a few marks, actually. A couple of stubborn hickeys and scratches in various stages of healing. They weren’t enough, though. If I were honest, I’d say I wanted to be covered in Forrest’s marks at all times.

Mav took over for the rest of the night. Did the idea continue to make me anxious? Yes. Did I let myself dwell on it? Also yes. There was no universe in which I didn’t.

The drive to Forrest’s apartment wasn’t too bad, at least. The night shift guy at the front counter was going to start recognizing me if I kept this shit up, though I wouldn’t dream of Forrest coming to my house. Not right now, at least.

Both times I’d stepped over the threshold of Forrest’s apartment, I’d been completely ravaged by him. The moment I’d stepped into his presence, he’d taken all the control I’d desperately held onto for so long. The air around him alone was suffocating in a way I never thought I’d crave. Would this time be different?

I finally gained the courage to knock, taking a deep breath as I waited for the door to open. When it did, I almost stopped breathing entirely. Forrest was on the other side, wearing his goddamn glasses and a tank top that left nothing to the imagination when it came to his tattoos.

“You’re late.”

I raised an eyebrow, challenging him. “By a minute.”

He shrugged. “Still late.”

“So, what, you aren’t going to let me in now?”

He finally stepped to the side, looking all fucking hot and cute and shit. Nobody should look that fucking fine with glasses on. “Please. Be my guest.”

I walked in, passing him to continue further down the hallway. The same hallway he’d taken me in before, though it didn’t seem like he was going to do that this time. I waited until he nodded and started walking, following him into a room I’d not been in yet.

There was a TV mounted on the wall and a comfortable-looking sectional in front of it. A large glass coffee table was right in the center of the room, decorated with a tall, fancy-looking candle holder. I wondered what scent the candle in it was. I glanced to the right, noticing the tall bookshelf along the wall. There had to be at least a hundred books shelved on it.

I pointed to it. “So, the bookstore owner owns a ton of books.”

“Yep.” He sat on the couch, stretching his legs out. “That’s usually how it goes. You’d be hard-pressed to find one who doesn’t. I used to have a shit ton more, but I donated most of them when I moved here.” He patted the seat beside him. “Come here. Come sit by me.”

I was hesitant at first, finding myself feeling more awkward than anything. I knew what was coming. And though I was excited, and I was a full-grown man, I wasn’t sure how easy it’d be to talk about stuff like this in such detail. I hadn’t had to discuss most of these things with most of the guys I slept with because it was always only one night.

What was I getting myself into?

Forrest pulled out his phone and typed on it. “I’m about to send you my checklist, and you can send me yours. I’ll also log into my portal and show you my test results.”

I chewed on my bottom lip as I shifted to the side to grab my phone as well, opening up our text thread. We sent the completed lists at the same time, sitting side by side. What an experience. There were a few things he’d marked on his that I wasn’t interested in, like rope bondage, which we already knew. I also wasn’t into chastity, but he’d marked that he liked it as a giver and not a receiver.

“Facials, huh?”

My face turned red in an instant. I swallowed past a fucking golf-ball-sized lump of embarrassment in my throat. “What about it?”

He snickered. “It’s marked as a favorite of yours. Is that so?”

I refused to look at him. “It’s a kind of marking, isn’t it? I like the premise. Cover me in your cum. Paint me with it. Make me look and smell like yours.”

“Oh, I’m going to be having fun with that for sure. I put it as interested on mine because I didn’t even think of it like that. Thanks for enlightening me.” He winked.

I tried to pretend like he hadn’t said any of that. One thing that caught my eye was how high orgasm control was on his list as the one in control. “I know I have orgasm control marked as a favorite, but I have to let you know that I’m really bad at it. Like holding it in. I like the idea a lot, but I have a hard time not actually coming. I try really hard, though.”