Page 58 of The Intimacy of Control

How had he survived so much?

How had he found his way back to Callum with a heart so hurt?

“Don’t apologize. Please. I understand, and so will Forrest. He already knows you were only trying to protect me.”

“I really hope I didn’t fuck nothin’ up between y’all.”

A sharp, stabbing pain hit me square in the heart. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong. I promise.”

Forrest and I had been fucked up from the start. It wasn’t Tobi’s fault. It was mine. I was the only one to blame, because I’d had the audacity to think I could do something more. That I could change who I was.

“Thank you, Jack. You’ve done so fucking much for me. Thank you.” Tobi sniffled again, his lip trembling.

“I’m just here. You’re the one doing all the work. You should be proud of that.”

That got his lip twitching. He didn’t give me a full smile, but at least we were closer than before. “Yeah. You’re right. I am proud of that.”

The sound of glass crunching under a shoe had me looking up. Callum was walking toward us, his focus solely on Tobi. He didn’t ask questions. He didn’t hesitate. He sat beside us, leaning over to press his head against Tobi’s.

I slowly untangled myself, letting Callum take over. I needed to get away. I’d already done enough damage. I’d already let control slip out of my hands fast enough.

I looked down at the broken glass beneath my feet, watching the liquor swallow it all whole. For a moment, I wondered if my heart was in there, too. Nothing but a pile of glass under an ocean of shattered hope.

chapter twenty

My eyebrow was still throbbing, despite having an entire night for it to calm down. Tobi had a mean punch on him. I grabbed my phone, sighing as I opened up my messages to see what Jack had sent me. Deep down, I think I already knew. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to believe it. Not after all this time. Not after all this work.

Jackson

This isn’t working between us. We should stop seeing each other.

I stared at the screen, but not really. My eyes unfocused, every word becoming nothing but a blurry mess.

Is this bc of what happened with Tobi?

Jackson

The why doesn’t matter… I told you from the jump I wasn’t interested in dating.

But you wanted more

Jackson

Not anymore. Goodbye, Forrest.

I didn’t want to type it. I really didn’t. I’d fought so hard, and done so much to get to where we finally were. I guess I had to figure out how to cut my losses at some point. Even if it meant letting him go.

Goodbye Jackson

I didn’t want to let him go.

I won’t forget you

I didn’t know why I needed him to know that. It just would’ve been impossible to.

When my phone screen faded to black without another message, I looked up at the wall in front of me. My bedroom didn’t feel safe anymore. It had so many memories. Memories of Jack that I didn’t want to let go of but were tearing my heart in two with each second that passed.

A painful prick of tears began at the corner of my eyes, followed by a wave over my vision. Kind of like going under the water in a swimming pool. Was this what Jack used to see when he was younger?