Page 10 of Cherished By the BRATVA Grump

How could anyone be with someone who is capable of taking another person’s life?

What kind of person can do that?

What kind of person can be with a person who can do that?

Guilt immediately floods me. My best friends are with men like that. Two women I grew up with since the age of five. The two women who know everything about me. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Have the years that I’ve been away really changed them so much?

I head back home, wondering how I’m going to be able to look at Sammie and Delilah in the morning, much less work in the café until Delilah can return from having her baby. And that just makes me feel even worse about myself.

***

When my alarm sounds, I smack it several times in frustration. I’ve barely slept, tossing and turning all night. Trying to make everything that I know balance somehow.

I can hear mom is up and moving around in her morning routine, and I wait for her to leave the bathroom and head downstairs before I creep out of my room and jump into the shower.

Dressing in jeans and a sweater that I’ve still not properly unpacked from my case, I head downstairs with a plan to head straight out.

“Not so fast,” my mom’s voice catches me and makes my shoulders hunch. I turn around feeling guilty about how we argued last night.

She walks the length of the hallway to me and wraps me in a hug.

“I love you, little one,” she says, and my eyes fill with tears. “I’m sorry I meddled. I just want to know you are safe and happy.”

I nod my head in response, not trusting my voice.

The walk to the café is brisk, the morning fog still thick. I knock on the front door and Delilah appears, waddling past the cats and unlocking the door.

“Morning,” she says brightly. “Sammie said you were coming in this morning so we’ve been waiting.” I follow her to the counter where she has already made three hot drinks.

Sammie comes through from the back with what I imagine is a breast bump humming beneath her baggy sweater, and perches on a stool.

“Where’s Misha?” I ask.

“Valeria is watching them both for us today, Eduard is only working half the day so he will take over and bring them here around lunch time.”

“Oh,” I nod. “Cool.”

“So,” Sammie starts, and I brace myself for questions about last night. “The first thing we do in the morning is feed the cats…”

As if on cue, the cat called Lemur appears and looks at me expectantly. It takes me a second to recalibrate from my expectation of how our first conversation was going to go this morning.

“Right. Yes, of course,” I say, following her into the kitchen.

“I made oatmeal cookies and pecan plaits for the pastry case today, and we’ve got a delivery of English scones arriving shortly,” Delilah says, following us. “I’ll go and write the specials board once this is mixed.”

The morning routine seems easy enough. Set the tables, make sure the cats are fed and not misbehaving. Clean out the litter boxes, which are tucked away in the back corridor near the door that leads to the alleyway. Ensure the pastry case is well stocked and that we have enough of everything to make the most popular drinks.

“The peppermint hot chocolate is always super popular at this time of year,” Sammie says absently when she turns the sign in the door window to ‘open.’ “And I’ve been working on a gingerbread coffee, since December is already upon us.”

The door between the café and the bookshop opens, and a man I haven’t met pokes his head through.

“Morning, Mechislav,” Delilah says. “What can we do for you today?”

“Black coffee,” he grunts. “Strong.”

Daisy follows him through into the café, laughing. “I only asked him to help me re-organize the romance section.”