Page 9 of Cherished By the BRATVA Grump

“They’re both down, thanks to Uncle Demyan,” Sammie says to Eduard, dropping a short kiss on his mouth as Valeria crinkles her nose.

“It’s a privilege,” I say, and I mean it.

“Well,” Eduard says, sliding his arm around Sammie as she sits beside him. “What’s brought you here with a face like thunder? Sammie said you were having dinner at the Kleine’s.”

Valeria sits up straighter at this news. “I didn’t know you had your eye on someone, Dem.”

I heave a sigh. “I was having dinner. Until Tamsin put enough of what I was saying together to realize what I am. Then she all but kicked me out.”

Sammie frowns. “I’m sorry Demyan. I thought since Patty approved; Tamsin would…”

I shrug. “Not the case it seems. Tamsin just about lost her mind. Patricia tried to help but…” I trail off. What am I supposed to say? Tamsin is welcome to her beliefs. “Anyway,” I finally continue, “I was wondering if you could assign me elsewhere for a while?”

Eduard looks surprised for a second, but gathers himself together quickly enough.

“Valeria, you said you wanted that recipe from me,” Sammie says, clearly reading the room and feeling this is a business conversation that they don’t need to be a part of.

“But I want to…” she doesn’t get to finish as she is yanked from the armchair by Sammie who pulls her through to the kitchen.

“Demyan,” Eduard starts once the women have left the room. “Why?”

I’m quiet for a moment, trying to puzzle out the honest answer to his question. “She is the first time I’ve ever felt like I could dare to want more. And when it became clear that’s just not meant to be for me…I don’t know…I just…”

I hesitate for a moment, knowing I can be honest with Eduard and actually being honest suddenly feel like two very different beasts.

“I see what you and the others have and I don’t like that I can’t have it too.”

Eduard doesn’t say anything, just looks at me for a long time.

“If you want to move on, you can. I mean, we would miss you considerably. But I understand where you’re coming from and accept that the dynamics within the family and business have changed. I should have paid more attention to that, and I’m sorry I let you down.”

“You didn’t,” I argue. “It’s not about that. I’ve always known my place in this family. I’ve honored it and been grateful. But ultimately, since seeing the four of you settle down, I’ve come to want more from my life than cleaning up the mess.”

Eduard nods. “Give me a week,” he finally says. “That way I can figure out something that works for all of us.”

“Thanks,” I say, placing my glass down on the table beside the chair I’m sitting in. “I appreciate it.”

Tamsin

My mom is angry with me. I don’t think I’ve seen her this angry since the time she caught my brother with matches.

At first, she reprimanded me for being rude to a guest. I argued back about setting me up with a man who kills people for a living for his family…we all know that means organized crime.

She countered with the fact that no one would be getting killed at all if they weren’t bad people to begin with. I pointed out that it’s not for anyone else to decide that. Moral codes do not make it okay to kill people.

Mom then went on to tell me about how happy Sammie and Delilah are, along with Kimmie and Daisy, and how the Federov’s look after their women, and that’s all she wants for me.

I couldn’t think of anything to say to that. Either the shock of knowing that my best friends from childhood have married into the Russian Mafia, or the fact that my mom is that invested in my love life, made my brain stop computing.

“Life isn’t black and white, Tamsin. You of all people should know that.”

Then she had begun clearing away the table, and I’d grabbed my coat and left for a walk.

The park is quiet at this time of night. The river is still, and the trees are completely devoid of leaves. It’ll start to snow soon. Then winter will set in.

I had every intention of staying here for a while and figuring out what comes next in my life. But this town isn’t big enough for me and Demyan. Perhaps I should just stay long enough to help Sammie while Delilah has her baby, then I can leave, and it will be like I was never here at all.

A twinge of disappointment tugs at my chest, and I put the thoughts out of my mind and just look at the river for a minute.