Page 66 of Head Under Water

I’m not blind to the situation. I know I’m the consolation prize right now. The girl he’s going to try to hook up with because he can’t get with the girl he actually wants.

But at this moment, I’m okay with it. A smile spreads across my lips. “That’d be great.”

He disappears, and I chug the rest of my mostly full can of cherry seltzer. When Paul returns, he passes me a new drink and tosses my empty can into a nearby trash bag.

Taking his hand, I lead him back to the picnic table.

When we stop, I let my eyes wander just once, long enough to see the girl is still on Will’s lap, though their make-out session has momentarily paused and they’re talking again.

I pop open the tab and hop up onto the picnic table, dragging Paul to stand between my legs. I throw an arm over his shoulder and lean in too close. “Is this okay?”

My eyes flick over his shoulder. It doesn’t take Will long to notice my return, and once he does, he stops pretending altogether. He watches me intently, as if this is a live show he paid for. His eyes dare me to go further.

He doesn’t think I will.

“Uh, yeah. Sure,” Paul says, answering the question I forgot I asked. He doesn’t seem to know where to put his hand, but eventually it comes to rest on my thigh, featherlight.

I tuck a strand of hair back behind my ear. “You don’t have a girlfriend or anything, right?” I ask, just realizing I never made sure. “Or a boyfriend?”

He gives a breathy laugh. “No. And no.” Then it’s his turn to brush the hair from my eyes. “Should I be asking you the same thing?”

“I’m not seeing anyone exclusively.” I dangle my feet next to his legs. “Are you ready for the new semester? You’re a sophomore too, right?”

He nods. “Yeah. I’m glad to be back on campus. But ask me again in a week.”

I chuckle. “Right.”

His mouth comes forward without warning, pecking my lips. It’s nervous and gentle, and when he pulls away, his eyes search mine. “Was that okay?”

I can’t help smiling at him. Paul’s cute, even if totally unsure of himself. Who isn’t at this age, anyway? I certainly feel like I have no idea who I am.

“It’s great,” I say finally. “I just…” My conscience rears her ugly head. “I should tell you I’m not looking for anything serious. Is that okay? I’m just here to have fun.” I run my hand through his hair as I ask, my heart pounding.

This is too familiar with someone I’m not familiar with at all, but I need to do it. I need to take control of this situation, distract myself.

His eyes widen and fall to my lips. “It’s all right with me if it’s all right with you. You’re…very pretty, Opal.”

I lean forward gently, pressing my mouth to his. His full body responds, leaning into mine. His palm rests against my cheek, then my neck. He slides the other along my side, his kisses timid and shaky.

I put all I have into the kiss. I kiss Paul like I’m trying to prove something. Trying to win something. Like I need to burn the image of Will out of my mind for good.

I drag my fingers into his hair and tilt my head just enough that it must look hot from Will’s seat across the fire.

When I peek through my lashes, it’s Will I search for. My gaze catches his where he sits. The girl is kissing his neck now, his hand on her back.

But he’s not feeling her touch at all. I see it. I know it.

Entire cities and civilizations burn behind his eyes, hotter than the bonfire between us, and he doesn’t dare look away from me. He doesn’t even blink.

He’s not smiling anymore. The challenge has evaporated from the hard set of his jaw.

He looks furious. Possessive.

There’s a swooping pull deep inside of me. A storm rages behind that expression. It matches the one in my chest.

A single look from him does more than a touch from anyone else.

Paul tries to kiss me again, but I can’t bring myself to close my eyes. I’m barely in it now, still watching Will.