Page 61 of Tanner

“Did you have a fun night at least?”

Her face lights up. “Yes, actually. Ryan is amazing. We hung out at the bar for a few hours, and then he came back to my place.” Another student enters the classroom, so she turns to the whiteboard to wipe it down even though there’s nothing on it and whispers, “I’m going to see him again tonight, hopefully.”

“That’s great.” I’m glad my comment at the bar didn’t force her to rethink hanging out with him. “Did you see Tanner before you left?” I try to sound nonchalant.

“Yeah. He left not long after you did.”

I nod and bite my cheek. I didn’t expect him to stay. Maybe head back to his studio or the speakeasy perhaps. Maybe he went to his bar in Harlem.

“He left with a girl,” Willa says, and my stomach turns.

Of course he left with someone else. He’s twenty-two. What else do guys in college do when their older girlfriends wig out on them? They hook up with a hot girl at the bar.

Willa puts her hand on my arm. “Ryan said it was a friend of his, so it’s probably nothing.”

I give her a deadpan stare. “Yeah, and Aaron was just hanging out with Nicole.”

She squints her eyes. “Do you really think Tanner is anything like your ex-boyfriend? I mean, I don’t know either man really, but from what you’ve told me about Aaron, I find it hard to believe that you’d give your time to anyone who remotely reminded you of that swine. And, besides, if Tanner did go home with a girl, it’d be completely different. He has every right, especially since you walked out on him. It’s not like you guys were exclusive, or you told him you wanted a break or anything.”

“We were on a break!” Ross’s classic line from Friends echoes in my head, and I fight back the urge to slap myself on the forehead. Not the time or the place.

Willa’s right. Tanner is absolutely nothing like Aaron. And, if he did do something last night, then I have no right to be mad at him.

More students enter the room, and I reach for Willa’s arm. “I’m sorry I was such a bitch,” I whisper. “Are we good?”

She smiles. “Yeah, we’re good.”

We hug, making my chest pull and my mouth dry. I’ve mended one relationship. Now, I need to work on the other one.

On my walk back to my classroom, I stop at the water fountain to quench my thirst. My students have gym right after lunch, so I get my coat and take the free period to go outside and get some fresh air. The Den is down the block. If it wasn’t the middle of the workday, I’d go in for a drink. Instead, I pull my coat tight and turn in the other direction.

Tanner is twenty-two years old.

Why can’t I get over that stupid number?

When he’s thirty, I’ll be thirty-eight. There we go with more numbers.

I might not have been ready to meet someone new, but I sure as shit had hoped when I eventually did it would be a man who had the same plans as me. Get married, buy a house, have some kids, open up an IRA. Instead, I fall for a guy who is still racking up student loans.

Your young twenties are such a blissful time. You have complete freedom for the first time in your life. No parents, no school … there’s nothing like it. I’m content with watching Friends and drinking wine. He is about to embark on wild nights of parties and panties.

As much as I’d like to paint Tanner as the wild bachelor about town, he’s far from it.

The guy is an artist.

He plays the piano and is a member of a secret jazz club.

He reads classic novels and listens intently.

He moonlights as a graffiti artist and makes love with his entire body.

He nurtures.

He cherishes.

He loves.

One thing’s for sure; I’m not over him. Especially since I’ve been under him, there is certainly no way I’m getting over him so fast.