Page 32 of The Very Virile Viking

Magnus could hardly blame her. There were too many temptations in this New World. And the biggest, as far as he was concerned, was the black-haired witch who locked them in every day before she went out to work, promising, "Just one more day."

The tell-of-own rang suddenly, and he picked it up off the low table. He did not understand this device at all, but he had learned how to use it in the short time he had been here. How else would he have learned how to order endless pizzas for his family from Dome-nose? And for himself, too, he acknowledged. He had grown partial to the pepperoni-and-sausage thin-crust delicacy.

"Greetings!" he said into the palm-sized black device.

"Magnus?"

He smiled at Angela's voice. Even when she was chastising him for some misdeed, like coming out of the bathing room in naught but his jaw-keys, or eating all of the cold cream from the freezer, he loved the sound of her voice.

"Yea, 'tis me."

"I have good news," she said cheerily.

You are going to join me in the bed furs… rather, bedsheets?

Nay, that would not be good news. Because of my vow, I could do nothing.

But I would really like to do something.

Nay, I would not… because then, sure as sunshine, there would be another babe… or babes.

Oh, but what pleasure there would be in the making!

I am pitiful. Really pitiful. The woman does not even like me.

But I could convince her to like me.

"Magnus, are you there? What is that loud noise I hear? Is it music?"

"Yea, I am here. And what you hear is Britain Spear."

"Huh?" she said. Then: "Never mind. What I wanted to tell you is that I'll be home soon. We settled the deal a few minutes ago. Guess where we're going this afternoon?"

To bed? Ha, ha, ha. Just jesting. "Vinland?" he offered hopefully.

"No, silly! We are going to—"

No one in the world had ever dared called him silly afore. So it took a stunned moment for Magnus to realize that Angela was still talking.

"—the beach. I'll stop for some swim suits on the way home."

"Wonderful," he said, but what he thought was that new word he had learned, Whatever . He could hardly credit her enthusiasm for going to a beach. He had a stone-stubbled beach bordering the fjord right in front of his farmstead in the Norselands, and people did not come to visit it. In truth, it was mainly used to beach longships.

"And the best news of all is that we're going to the Blue Dragon tomorrow after my closing."

"Hamr will be glad to hear that. Dragons, at last." Closing? Her closing ? He decided not to ask what part of her body she was closing. He feared he would mislike the answer.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"You don't sound very excited."

If you only knew! Excitement is my second name when I am around you. Magnus the Excited!

That is what they should call me. Especially when I see those sheer hose hanging in the bathing chamber every time I go to piss. "Dearling, I am very excited, if it means we will finally be able to leave this confinement." And I am very excited about some other things, too. Forbidden things. Think bulls, m'lady. Excited bulls .

The minute he clicked off the tell-of-own with Angela, it rang again. It was Dare-All No-Land.