Page 62 of The Very Virile Viking

"Are you the God-man?"

The man sitting on a stone bench in the backyard of Saint Agnes's rectory reading a Bible practically jumped out of his monk garb at Magnus's simple question. "Ga… ga… ga…" he sputtered, looking up the long length of Magnus's frame to his impatient face. He did not appear frightened by his size, just stunned. "God man?" he finally got out.

"Yea, I am looking for the priest named Father Sylvester… the God-man."

"Oh. That would be me. Ha, ha, ha! What can I do for you, son?"

"I need advice on vows."

"Sit down, please. I'm getting a crick in my neck." The priest motioned for Magnus to sit on another stone bench facing him. "Now, tell me, what kind of vows do you have in mind? Baptismal vows?

Wedding vows?"

"Holy Thor, nay! A celibacy vow."

"Aaahhh," the priest said. "You are considering taking religious orders and are not sure if you can handle the celibacy vows. Well, I can only tell you of my own experience and that of my fellow priests."

"Huh?"

"As a first step, I would suggest making an appointment with the bishop of our diocese. After an initial

interview, he may or may not recommend a seminary for you. I personally like—"

"Halt, halt, halt, halt, halt!" Magnus held both palms out in front of him to stem the priest's words. "I am not interested in entering the priesthood. For the love of Frigg, I have bred thirteen children of my loins.

'Tis a little late to consider such a path in life."

"Thirteen children! Well, well, well! You certainly take the church's ban on birth control seriously, don't you?" The priest laughed jovially. Bloody hell even priests know about birth control. Am I the only person in the world who did not ? Then the priest added, with another laugh, "Thirteen children and you now want to take a celibacy vow? Isn't that like closing the barn door after the horse has fled?"

"Sarcasm ill suits your priestly role," Magnus snapped. "Let me explain myself better. I made a celibacy vow after having all these children because I did not want to have any more. At that time and place, 'twas a wise decision. I had no knowledge that there was any other method of birth control besides abstinence."

"Where have you been living, boy? Another century?"

"You could say that." Magnus explained further, though not bothering to tell of his time-travel theory.

He was having trouble believing it himself. What might a stranger think?

The priest nodded his understanding of the situation thus far. "Go on, my son."

"My question is, Can a vow be broken when the circumstances surrounding the vow have changed?"

"Surely you do not expect me, a priest, to say that it is proper to practice birth control. You know the Vatican's rule on that, don't you?"

Actually, Magnus did not, but that was neither here nor there. "I do not come to you soliciting your sanction of birthing control. I merely want to know how the gods—your God in particular—feel about vows. Are they ironclad?"

The priest pondered for several moments, then said, "I will tell you the same thing I tell my parishioners on many subjects: God can be stern, but more than anything, he is a loving father. He wants what is best for us. He wants us to be happy, within his rules. And if the best thing for us requires flexibility, bending the rules on occasion, I cannot believe that God would be offended. Mostly our actions should not hurt others. So, in my humble opinion, when you must question whether some decision is right or wrong, ask yourself if anyone will be hurt."

"In other words," Magnus interpreted, "this is a decision between me and God."

"Precisely."

Magnus stood up, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"One other thing, my son…"

"Yea."

"If my instincts are correct, and you are headed in the direction I think you are, I would suggest your