Page 24 of Awaken My Heart

Bram

I try to convince myself I need to wait until tomorrow. Give her time to rest or whatever. But the truth is, I need to see her now. It’s easy enough to find the address of the bungalow she’s renting.

The looks I got at the grocery store for buying a bouquet of flowers will definitely get the rumor mill churning. I won’t be surprised if there’s news about it in the Saddle Peek.

I don’t care though.

Realizing that I can’t walk away from Emma—accepting that—has calmed me. I’m filled with resolve and purpose in a way I haven’t been in a very long time.

I’ve already done marriage. I already know relationships are hard work. Work that you commit to on a daily basis no matter how you feel. So there’s none of the ‘what ifs’ thoughts swimming through my brain.

I don’t know where her feelings are, so that’s up in the air. But if she’ll have me, I’m hers.

I knock on her door, and she answers it by poking her head around the side. She gasps when she sees me.

I hold up the flowers—a clump of Texas’s most beautiful wildflowers that bloom so freely this time of year. “Can I come in?”

“Oh, right.” She opens the door, still hiding her body behind it. When it closes behind me, I see why.

She’s still wearing my shirt. Or maybe wearing it again.

Hope surges through me. “I’m gonna put these in some water,” I say.

“Kitchen is this way,” she says.

I stare at the curve of her hips and things peeking out from beneath the hemline of the t-shirt.

She hands me a tall glass. “Want something to drink? I have sodas and water.”

“I’m good, darlin.” I fill the glass with water from her tap, then arrange the bouquet inside. Then I set it on her small dinette set against the bay window. I turn back to face her. “I figured we should probably talk.”

Her eyes are wide and she nods. “Sure. Come sit down.”

I follow her to her sofa and we sit. I angle my body sideways so I’m facing her.

“Look, Bram, before you say anything, I want you to know that you don’t owe me anything. I don’t need a further explanation of a one-night stand. I get it.”

“You got it all wrong, Emma.”

“So what? You came here to say you want to have an affair? Friends with benefits kind of situation?”

“Fuck no. I came here to say that I can’t walk away from you, and I was a moron to think that I could. There’s something big between us, Spicy; I know you feel it too. Sex like that doesn’t happen without an emotional connection.”

“Maybe it’s just because it had been a while for you. So it feels more intense.”

“Is that what it was for you? Just really good sex?” I ask.

She’s already shaking her head before I get the question out. “No. It was amazing, and it meant everything to me. I’ve never had a night like that. Ever.”

I take her hands in mine and bring them up to my lips. “Exactly. Life’s too short to be stupid. And it’s too short to be scared. I had a conversation about fear with my son, Dane, not too long ago. It’s time I take my own advice.” I kiss her knuckles again.

Her eyes fill with tears. “There are things you don’t know about me, Bram.”

“I doubt that. Emma, I know you’re not perfect. I sure as hell ain’t perfect. Whatever you’ve got, we’ll deal with it.”

Her smile is wistful and sad. “I’m infertile, Bram. That’s my big secret.”

I squeeze her hands and listen to the words tumbling from her lips.