Page 25 of Awaken My Heart

“I had stage four endometriosis as a teenager. It’s was excruciatingly painful and a few times I bled so much, I had to be hospitalized. The doctors convinced me the best course of treatment was a complete hysterectomy. I was eighteen.”

Her words are a knife to my heart. “And you think this somehow affects whether or not we have a future together?”

“Well, yeah. Men want to spread their seed or whatever.”

I smirk. “I already spread my seed. I have four grown children, Spicy; I don’t want to start over. I’m old now and tired.”

“Tell that to the man who nearly split me in half last night,” she says. “I don’t think you’re old. I think you’re beautiful.”

I lean forward and brush my lips across hers. “You’re the beautiful one.”

“So, you wouldn’t care if I couldn’t give you children?”

I shake my head. “I mean if you truly wanted a baby, I wouldn’t say no, but I’m content just being Pops. I’m sure the rest of my kids are going to bless me with more grandchildren. I don’t need you fertile, darlin.”

She stares at me, her light brown eyes watery as tears flow down her cheeks.

“Do you want a baby?” I ask, knowing if she says yes, I’ll do whatever I can to make that happen. “Is that the problem? Because we can adopt if it’s what you really want.”

She gives me a watery laugh. “No. I used to want to be a mama more than anything in the world. Wanted to feel life bloom inside me. Wanted to complain about swollen ankles and back cramps and weird food cravings. But I’ve worked through my grief, it’s taken a lot of therapy. Knowing I couldn’t have kids is the main reason I became a teacher, and I love it. I don’t feel that deep seated yearning anymore.”

“So, you’d be okay just being the Mops to my Pops?”

She smacks my arm. “I’m too young to be a grandmother. And I will not be called Mops.”

“Granny?”

“Bite your tongue,” she sasses. Then she sobers briefly. “Isn’t this happening too fast. Should we slow down?”

“I’ve thought about this. Discussed it with my kids.”

“You discussed me with your kids?”

“Yeah, of course, I did. It wouldn’t have made a damn bit of difference to me if they’d had a problem with me having a relationship. I want you and they’re not going to change that.”

“What if they hate me?”

“They won’t. But also, they’re adults; they can get over it. One thing I know for sure is that you can fall in love slowly, over time. A thirteen-year-old with his first crush can become a man who loves and marries that girl. Or it can strike without warning. Just a beautiful woman walking into a bar and boom, the man falls like a felled tree.”

I cup her face, swiping my thumb across her cheek to catch her tears. “I wasn’t looking for you, Emma. I had zero plans to find love again. But there you were, and I’m not stupid enough to let a gift like you go. So, I’m gonna grab on with both hands.”

“I want you too, Bram.”

“Good, that’s real good. Because I’m all in.”

epilogue

Bram

I’m having the best fucking dream of my life. Hot, wet warmth slides against my dick. I’m so hard I’m going to blow at any moment.

I open my eyes and see Emma’s dark head bobbing over my crotch.

“Darlin, you’re so good at that.”

One of her hands fondles my balls.

“Are you needy this morning? Want to ride my dick?”