Page 3 of Mister McStudmuffin

CHARLIE: Wow, he left a lot earlier this time than in our last chat.

ME: Focus, Charlie. I screwed up. Big time.

CHARLIE: What did you do?

ME: I saw him when he stepped into the bullpen. Tall, bald, tatted and so damn scowly. It’s legit like he walked out of my dream.

CHARLIE: I’m missing the screwup. That sounds fabulous.

ME: The HR lady giving me the tour told me ahead of time that he’s a major manwhore.

CHARLIE: Less fabulous.

ME: Right. So he came up and introduced himself and I blurted out, “I have a boyfriend.”

ME: Not: Nice to meet you too. Or: I’m so happy to be here. Nope: Went straight for the boyfriend.

CHARLIE: Which you do not, in fact, have.

ME: That is irrelevant.

ME: Why did I say that.

ME: You know what he said in return?

CHARLIE: How could I?

ME: He told me congratulations.

CHARLIE: *snort

ME: NOT funny.

CHARLIE: Pretty funny.

ME: You are no help.

CHARLIE: Don’t worry about it. He’ll forget about that in a week or two and then you can pretend you’re normal and not an awkward weirdo who says words without the assistance of her brain.

ME: Wow. You make me sound so delightful.

CHARLIE: I find you very delightful.

Fuck my life.

chapter

two

JD

Two months later…

“You have been in a shit mood for days,” Hayes says as we drop ourselves into the corner booth.

I shoot him a glare. “What the hell are you talking about?”