Page 4 of Mister McStudmuffin

We order two beers. Hayes shrugs. “Just an observation, man.”

“Well, it’s a wrong one. I’m fine.”

“Jude and Donovan said they’d be about half an hour late,” he says.

“We have plenty of time to get to our box,” I say. “What are you thinking about the new starting quarterback?”

That question sets Hayes off on statistics and rankings of past University of Texas Longhorn football players. As I knew it would. Hayes might not look the part, but he’s as much of a math nerd as I am. Well, as any of the guys in our group.

While Hayes analyzes everything, I go back to the thoughts I’ve been having all damn day. Frankly, for the last couple of months. Finally, I decide to just say “fuck it” and go forward with my plan. It won’t be any less distracting for her to be in the same room with me as it is now with her still languishing at that damn table.

Having made that decision, I shoot a quick text off to our assistant asking her to order the necessary supplies and that they be ready Monday morning. She confirms and I set my phone down.

Hayes is mid-sentence about the quarterback from last season, when I interrupt.

“I’m going to move Chelsea to my office. She’ll be my personal assistant.”

Hayes stares at me. “Why?”

“Did you know she has a degree in finance? She’s been working on her MBA at night. But without the scholarship she had for her undergrad, it’s going to take her years.”

“We have tuition reimbursement for that,” Hayes says.

“Yes, we do. But I can also offer her a more hands-on education while she’s waiting her six-month probationary period. I think we should foster that kind of initiative in our employees. Especially ones with her talent.”

Hayes frowns, and then opens his mouth as if he’s going to interject something else.

But I just plow on. “She would learn more working directly with one of us. Besides, don’t you think it’s ridiculous that we only have one assistant between the two of us?”

“Not re⁠—”

“I mean, our company is successful enough,” I continue. “Definitely financially solvent. So why are we being so damn cheap? Sure, it made sense when we were a start-up, but now it’s not necessary. We should each have our own assistant and it makes sense for you to take Helen. She’s been with us from the beginning and you were the one to find her.”

“I’m not⁠—”

“Before you say there’s not enough room next to Helen, I am well aware of the space issue in the outer office. But that’s why I’m going to just put Chelsea’s desk inside my office. I’ve got plenty of room in there.”

It’s right about then that Jude and Donovan walk up. They have another round of beers for me and Hayes, as well as a steamy order of cheese fries.

“Fuck, I’m tired,” Donovan says, dropping onto the booth seat beside me.

“Getting too old to play?” Hayes asks our friend who currently plays professional football with the Austin Armadillos.

“Fuck no,” Donovan says. He smirks and takes a swig of his beer.

“I’ll call to order this first official meeting of the Hotties of Saddle Creek,” Hayes says.

I’m about to ask him what he’s saying, but Jude beats me to the punch.

“The fuck?” His pierced eyebrow cocks.

Jude is that badass, tatted-up guy who look scary as hell. Like you wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark alley. But he’s just a little rough around the edges. In reality, he’s the guy who tends to his grandma’s flower garden because her arthritic knees are too bad now. And he takes care of his three younger sisters.

Hayes laughs. “My sister dubbed our little group that.”

“We are not referring to ourselves as that,” Donovan says.

“Facts,” I agree.