Page 10 of Big Trouble

ME: Aside from melting your brain with an orgasm?

WREN: Rude.

WREN: But yes.

WREN: He had his friends set up Keller’s room before we got here. A bed, a LEGO wall, places for his books and puzzles, and new LEGO sets.

ME: I’m not crying. You’re crying.

That is truly the sweetest. My nephew, Keller, is an amazing kid. I’m gonna miss the hell out of him now that he’s moved to Texas. Come to think of it, he and Clementine would likely get along fabulously. That thought somehow makes me feel a little sad.

WREN: I know. My poor, dumb heart didn’t stand a chance.

ME: This is what you’ve deserved all along. A man who will take care of you and love your son.

WREN: I think I’m gonna sleep with him tonight.

ME: Sleep?

WREN: No.

ME: Ride ‘em, Cowgirl!

WREN: I hate you.

ME: No, you don’t.

ME: Before you go get naked and dirty with your hot husband…

ME: I started my nanny job today.

WREN: How’d it go?

ME: He fired me.

WREN: What?

ME: Well, he tried to fire me, but his daughter, Clementine (OMG how cute is she?!), already loves me. Also he has no legitimate reason to fire me.

WREN: So is he a jackass?

ME: He’s a big ol’ grump. Hot AF, but a grumpy ass.

ME: And speaking of Big D energy, somehow I can’t stop talking about dicks around him.

WREN: Is that why he fired you? Because talking about dick in front of a child is not very professional, Winnie. That doesn’t sound like you.

ME: He hired Winslow Ashcroft, whom he assumed to be a male nanny.

ME: So he was angered by the fact that I’m a woman.

ME: I haven’t exactly figured out why.

ME: Let’s just say Brody Callahan is a big, growly, hot AF mystery. But I told him tonight I was not gonna leave his daughter.

WREN: Wait, Brody Callahan? THE Brody Callahan?

ME: Huh? Who is THE Brody Callahan?