Page 23 of All In

Payton: Oh good, I have questions.

Payton: Did you wear the cap costume?

Me: Captain America. Yes.

Payton: How many people asked if you were a stripper?

Me: Zero. It’s a respectable costume.

Oliver: Respectable is a generous word for spandex.

Me: It’s a base layer. There’s armor on top of it.

Payton: So a respectable stripper, then?

Me: I’m putting my phone down.

Henry: Wait before you go. anything interesting happen today?

I stare at that message for a second longer than I probably should.

Me: Define interesting.

Oliver: Uh-oh.

Payton: That’s an unequivocal yes.

Me: Yes, as a matter of fact. Something very interesting happened today.

Me: A woman kissed me today. A stranger… well, technically she was Arwen from Lord of the Rings.

Oliver: And she just kissed you?

Me: To avoid a guy harassing her. I went along with it.

The three dots appear instantly, all three of them at once, which feels like a bad sign.

Payton: I’m sorry. WHAT.

Oliver: a stranger just. kissed you.

Me: Yes.

Henry: out of nowhere

Me: Out of nowhere. Then I offered to be her decoy boyfriend for the rest of the day in case the guy came back. We’ve been together since.

Payton: Leo!

Payton: Leo this is the plot of a romcom or a movie.

Oliver: This feels like the setup to something Henry would’ve fallen for.

Henry: I did not fall for anything I got legitimately married.

Oliver: So you keep saying.

Henry: To a woman I’ve known most of my life. You want to talk about how you knocked up a stranger the night you met her?