Page 149 of Poet & Protector

I nodded.

The first time Nev and I spent the night together was during the last Winter Solstice. We were on school break for the holiday, and our schedules and supervision were far more lax than usual.

When he suggested we spend the holiday running through the forest under the full moon, I thought it was romantic. As wolves we could handle the cold, and we could always find a tree-sheltered hollow to snuggle up in and nap if we got tired.

I had no idea he’d been plotting to surprise me with something even more romantic. I’d been so confused when Nev unlocked the door to the little cabin he’d led me to. Inside were cedar-paneled walls, a tiny kitchen, and a cozy living room. It wasn’t until I followed Nev from the main area into the bedroom that I put the pieces together. The time in which it took me to go from shock to bewilderment, to understanding, to tackling Nev onto the bed was…short.

Best. Surprise. Ever.

Also, my favorite Winter Solstice ever.

We’d spent a few more nights at the cabin since then, but rarely because we had to be so secretive about it. I’d hoped after the new pack was formed and we moved into the Haldis compound, I’d spend the majority of my nights in Nev’s arms and my mornings waking up beside him. But now…

If we could be together tonight, it needed to happen.

* * *

I spent the rest of the day on edge, waiting to hear from Nev and paranoid that at any moment Logan was going to appear without warning and ruin my life even more than he already had.

Nev’s message came as I was packing my books into my bag at the end of the day. It felt bizarre to be thinking about homework I was supposed to do over the weekend when I had no idea what was going to happen tomorrow night.

Nev: We’re good. 8?

Me: See you then.

My limbs turned to jelly and I had to rest my forehead against the side of my locker.

“Mason!”

I looked up to see Ansel trotting toward me.

“Hey, An.”

“Can you give me a ride home?” Ansel hovered beside my locker.

“No problem.” In my current state of mind, I probably would have agreed to drive him to Australia. My brain was fuzzy, a muddle of relief, anticipation, and fear.

“Thanks,” he said, then frowned. “Calla’s…I think she wants to be left alone right now.”

I agreed with Ansel. Lunch had been stressful for all of us, and I felt guilty that we’d been joking about Ren and Shay’s fight when Calla was hanging on by a thread.

Ansel was oddly quiet on the ride home. In the absence of his usual stream of chatter, I was the one trying to make conversation, keeping it light because there were far too many heavy topics plaguing our pack. But Ansel barely responded to my questions. He was distracted and constantly fidgeting in his seat. I started to wonder if he’d had some sort of falling out with Bryn, though I had a hard time imagining how that would happen.

I parked in the driveway.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ansel didn’t reply. Instead, he unbuckled his seat belt but didn’t leave the car.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

He let out a sigh. “What isn’t?”

After turning off the engine, I unbuckled my seat belt too and turned to face him. “Talk to me.”

“It’s just…” He sighed again, his brow crinkling with distress. “I always thought this would be one of the best things that ever happened to us. The union. Calla and Ren would finally be together and we’d be a pack. But it all…Mason, it feels wrong. Why does it feel so wrong?”

I bit the inside of my cheek, wanting to be honest with him but afraid of speaking a truth that none of us wanted to face. Nor could we do anything to change it.