Page 150 of Poet & Protector

“Maybe you should tell me why you think it feels wrong,” I finally said.

He slumped in the passenger seat. “No one is happy. Not Calla. Not Ren. You and Nev are…” His voice trailed off. “I’m so worried about you.”

“I know.” My chest hollowed, but I didn’t want to follow a trail of despairing thoughts. I would see Nev in a few hours. That was all that mattered right now.

“Being with Bryn is everything I hoped it would be. It’s perfect,” Ansel continued. “But I don’t know how I can be happy for us when everything else is such a wreck.”

Offering him a wry smile, I said, “I think Dax and Fey are happy.”

“Fuck Dax and Fey,” he growled. “That’s another thing. How are we supposed to live with packmates who are total assholes?”

“We don’t have a choice.”

“But that’s the whole problem.” Ansel turned to stare out the window, gazing at his house. “I didn’t understand, or maybe I never realized, what it could mean that the Keepers make choices for us. My life has been good. But I’m starting to feel like I’ve just been a stupid kid who doesn’t know anything. Now that I see what’s going on, what could happen…Mason, I don’t know what to do.”

I watched him, noticing the way his knee bounced ceaselessly. “There’s nothing to do, An. The union is going to happen. Calla and Ren will figure it out. We all will. Worrying about it doesn’t help anyone.”

“But Logan⁠—”

With a sharp shake of my head, I cut him off. “Don’t.”

I hadn’t told him about my second time at Logan’s house. I was afraid of what he’d do if he knew how bad things were, but this was Ansel, which meant that even without knowing everything, he was tuned in to my distress.

“How can I not?” Ansel turned to look at me, and his eyes were bright with tears. “You’re my best friend, Mason.”

A painful lump lodged in my throat, but I managed to reply. “Nothing is going to change that. And Logan…like I told you, he said he was going to be busy after the union. He might leave me alone.”

There was no way Logan would leave me alone.

Ansel fidgeted, flicking the seat belt with his finger. “But…he was watching you today when he came to our table.”

I wished he hadn’t noticed. “He was. It’s…Try not to think about it, Ansel.”

“But I can’t stop thinking about it,” he said plaintively. “You and Nev. Me and Bryn. The Keepers.” He looked me in the eyes. “I don’t want them to make choices for us when they don’t care if they hurt us.”

Ansel paused, took a deep breath. “Mason, what if we ran away?”

Stunned, I met his gaze and saw he was completely serious. “Ansel, we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Why not?”

The stubborn gleam in his eyes was terrifying.

“Have you talked to Bryn about this?” My pulse drummed harder as I wondered how much damage might already have been done.

He shook his head. “I wanted to talk to you first. If you don’t want to leave, we shouldn’t.”

The tightness in my chest eased slightly. Mutinous impulses were best kept to oneself. As usual, Ansel was following his heart and his head couldn’t keep up.

I decided the best way to defuse this bomb was to let Ansel talk through it and lead himself to the only possible conclusion. There was no way in hell we could run. I wished the idea wasn’t so tempting.

“When would this happen?” I asked.

Ansel frowned. That was good. He needed to see each of the obstacles clearly.

“I guess…” He frowned more deeply. “I mean, it would have to be before the union.”