Page 65 of Blissful Devotion

“Spit,” he tells me, wrapping my hair around his fist, and I debate for a moment before I listen.

“Good girl.”

He crouches down and scoops me up into his arms before heading to the shower, and I shake my head at him.

“I could have walked.”

“If I wanted you to walk, you would have, but I didn’t.”

“I’m heavy, Alex.”

He gives me a flat look, cocking a brow at me and letting me know he’s not amused by this conversation. “I’m not so old that I’m out of shape and can’t carry my woman into the shower.”

It’s not until he moves to grab one of the showerheads that I realize he’s still wearing pants.

“Why did you leave these on?”

I tuck a finger into the elastic of his waistband and run it across his lower stomach. I only make it halfway before he catches my hand and stops me.

“I’m trying to behave, and if you keep it up, or I take these off, I’m sure I won’t be able to.”

My cheeks heat, and I know it has nothing to do with the warm water he’s using to wet my hair.

“There’s plenty of time for that later. Just relax. Let me take care of you.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him I’m fine, but when I look up and see the love in his eyes, I know it’s not just about me.

“Please, Cherry,” his voice catches, and I feel like his emotions physically hit me. “I almost lost you.”

“Okay.” It’s all I can manage, but it seems to be enough for him. His face softens, and he moves me to the bench to sit as he begins to wash my hair, and my god, does it feel good.

“I was thirteen when Nathan went into the military. Back then, all I wanted was to be like my brothers, but they were both smarter than me. They were good with numbers and books. I was more of a people person. I didn’t really like people, but they tended to like me. Nathan always said I was just a kid. That I didn't need to worry about anything but my education…” His hands pause for a moment, and I know without asking that he’s right back there.

Some wounds never fully heal, it would seem.

“I tried. I threw myself into my studies while he was gone. I was determined to have him be proud of me when he got back. It was two weeks before he was set to be home, the week of finals. Lorenzo hadn’t been around much since Nathan left, and I know he took it hard, felt his leaving was a personal blow, like he’d abandoned us. He’d told me so when he first enlisted, but I didn’t see it that way. He told me I was just a stupid kid, and looking back at it now, I really was.” He laughs, the sound mocking with not a hint of joy, and this time I can’t ignore it. I reach for his hand and pull it from my hair so that I can turn to face him.

It takes him a second to meet my gaze, but I don’t rush him, not when I know how he feels, how hard it is to voice the past aloud.

“Lorenzo texted me and asked if I wanted to meet so we could plan a coming-home party for Nathan. I didn’t even spare a thought that he might have an ulterior motive. He was my brother. We might have had our problems, but I thought he was just happy to have our brother back…”

My heart squeezes for him, for a man who thought his family was someone he could trust. Lorenzo hurt me to get to them, but I never expected anything from him.

I can’t imagine the pain he must have and still probably feels from a betrayal like that, especially at such a young age.

“We were supposed to meet at a local diner. I don’t even remember getting out of the car, and the next thing I know, I woke up tied to a chair in a dark room.”

My heart races at his words, memories flooding back of my own time tied to a chair. I reach for his hand, looking to support him but also needing my own lifeline.

I don’t remember much, some things here and there, but it’s as if his words brought it all back.

“It took days before I was told what was happening and why. They beat me, took pleasure in making me scream, and the whole time I begged them to find my brother. I thought he would help. If anyone could figure it out, it would be Lorenzo. He was smart, a lot like Oliver. I had no idea how stupid I sounded to them.”

Alex moves away, grabbing a bottle of body wash and a loofah from the shelf. And when he turns back to me, the sadness from a moment ago is gone, replaced with anger and hatred so heavy I can’t help but reach for him.

“Hey.” I wait a second, wanting to give him a second to collect himself. I can’t lie, I was curious what happened, especially when Lorenzo brought it up, but if this is going to hurt him, I’d rather never know. It’s not worth the pain; nothing’s worth seeing him like this. “You don’t have to tell me.”

His gaze snaps up to meet mine, and while there's still anger in his eyes, there's also so much pain. He pours soap on the loofah and suds it up before moving back to me and reaching for my arm.