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She pulled back. "Stop. You don't remember that much."

"Maybe not. But I remember wanting more and not getting any."

She smacked my shoulder. I caught her hand and rolled on top of her, and she was laughing underneath me, her hair everywhere, her eyes bright in the dark.

Twelve years ago, I kissed a stranger at midnight and the crowd carried her away before I could ask her name. I spent an hour walking those streets trying to find her.

She was here now. Laughing in my bed. And I wasn't losing her again.

CHAPTER 15

Face-off

JANINE

"Crossovers! Let's go, let's go! Full speed!"

Hazel was third in line when the drill started. By the time the girls reached the blue line she was fifth, and by the far boards she was last.

I stood with my coffee going cold and watched her push. The crossovers were there. Alex had fixed them weeks ago and the fix had held. Her shoulders led, her feet followed, the technique was clean. She just wasn't fast.

The seat beside me on the bleachers was empty. I checked my phone.

ALEX:

Off shift. Heading to the rink.

"Again! Hazel, push through it! You're not committing!"

She pushed. Her edges caught and she went down hard, helmet bouncing off the ice. I gripped my coffee cup. She got up and skated to the back of the line without looking at me.

The tournament was three weeks away. She'd been counting practices at dinner every night, asking how many days until December.

"Faster! Come on, ladies, faster!"

She fell again on the next pass, trying to keep up with the girl ahead of her. She got up again. She always got up.

Midway through the drill, something prickled at the back of my neck. The specific, subtle awareness of being seen. I scanned the rink. Parents in the bleachers, most on phones. A few dads at the far boards. The lobby window reflected fluorescent light and silhouettes, and beyond it, the parking lot sat gray and still. Everything looked ordinary. Every face I found was occupied with a phone or a conversation or the ice.

I turned back to the ice. The feeling lingered for another minute, then faded.

Practice ended and Hazel skated toward me slowly, helmet tipped forward, stick trailing behind her on the ice. I crouched at the boards.

"Hey, bug. Tough one today."

She pulled off her helmet. Her hair was matted and her cheeks were red. "I kept falling."

"You kept getting up. That's the part that counts."

I helped her step off the ice and sat her on the bench to unlace her skates.

"Janine."

Alex was walking toward us from the lobby, still in his uniform pants and the department hoodie he wore off shift. He looked like he'd been up all night, which he had, but his face opened when Hazel looked at him.

"Hey, bug. How was practice?"

Hazel pulled at her laces without answering. Alex looked at me. I shook my head slightly. He understood and crouched beside her, helping with the other skate.