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She walked to the end of the chipped Formica counter and swung open a half-door with squeaky hinges. “Come on,” she said, lifting her chin.
She led me to the back of the shop, passing a washroom and then shelves full of bags of coffee and sleeves of broken crackers. Wherever I was, this place was dire.
“What do you get out of helping me?” I asked, once we entered what appeared to be a break room. There was a short desk with a wobbly-looking wooden chair that was missing a rung, and a yellowing card table with a matching seat.
The woman opened a mini-fridge and grabbed a water bottle before she tossed it to me. The motion took me by surprise and I almost dropped it.
“My name is Carmen; I run this place for one of the demons.” I almost choked on the water and used the back of my hand to wipe my mouth. “I don’t get anything out of it. Maybe a friend?”
After I gulped some more of the liquid, I screwed the cap back on. Who knew how long the bottle would have to last me? “I’m Brittney. I’d say it's nice to meet you, but...” I trailed off, lifting a hand in the air.
Carmen chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, I’m here cuz I was a dumbass and underestimated how much I drank before driving. Luckily, it doesn’t seem I hurt anyone but myself. What’d you do? I’m guessing you’re not here of your own free will.”
“Fell in a hole in the woods.”
She scrunched her face. “And you didn’t go to the Fourth? Weird.”
“I don’t know what that means, but yeah. I’m here.” I began pacing. “I don’t know where to go or what to do and I’m having a real hard time being dead. I still had shit to do. How do people do ghost stuff? I have unfinished business.”
Not only to fuck up Kiam, but I had to get the necklace and ring. “I can take stuff, right? I’ve heard about things going missing. It's gotta be an energy thing.” I stopped walking. “Is there like, training for that?” I laughed at how ridiculous my question sounded.
Carmen tilted her head to the side. “Well, it helps if you have magic. I’m not trying to profile you, but you look like you’ve messed with that stuff before,” she flapped a hand my way, “given your appearance.”
“What? I like black. Okay, fine, you’re right. But I’m not very, great, or whatever, at it.” The water bottle made a crackling sound as I lightly squeezed it. “What’s this about demons?”
“I’m human and there’s more of us running around but this city is run by them. There’s other areas of this Realm where there’s lots of vampires, but it’s primarily demons. That new emperor is a pure-blooded vamp, but you don’t need to worry about him, nobody messes with this city.”
This was just getting better and better. “Well, fuck me and the horse I didn’t ride in on.” I’d never owned a horse. “So, I need one of the demons to sponsor me, is that what you were saying?”
She nodded. “Yep. Your best bet is one of the clubs, but you could get plucked right off the street.”
It was a strange feeling, trying to figure out how to survive when I was already dead. My brain hurt, trying to figure out the mechanics of it. “And what was so bad about dying-not-dying here and ending up somewhere else?”
“There’s the pain, which can be excruciating, from what I’ve seen. And then there’s having to learn a new Realm. No one knows for sure where they’ll end up, and no one ever sees you again. Usually. I’ve heard the Fourth is pretty livable, but it's extremely rare to end up there after dying here. And I mean extremely.”
“What Realm is this?”
“The Second, and yes, it's generally considered hell, like I said before. There’s no dude running around with a pitchfork and horns,” she paused a moment, “but honestly, Satan is pretty hot. I don’t know where he went though.”
I couldn’t help the laugh that shook my chest. All of this, the whole thing, was beyond ridiculous and far past anything I ever would have considered consisting of the afterlife. “Alrighty then. Thank you for telling me all this stuff. I don’t know if it’s quite sunken in yet. So, where do I start?” My hands began trembling again.
“I need shelter. I probably need a job? I have no money, no clothes to go to a club. No food. I don’t even have identification. Do I need that here?”
Carmen shook her head. “You don’t need ID. They have scanners that identify you. What you do need is shelter. You can stay with me til you get on your feet.”
“Really? Oh wow, thank you. I appreciate that.” I paused for a moment. “What if I’m some crazy axe murderer or something, you don’t know me.”
She smirked. “Ha. You could be—but my sponsor, Laurent, would take care of you real quick before you got the chance to do anything.”
* * *
While I waited for Carmen to finish her shift, I’d sat at one of the tables in the lobby and ruminated. Sure, it sucked being dead, but at least now I had the answer to the Big Question about what happens to us “after.” I tried to find something positive about the whole thing, so I didn’t lose my mind.
Then, I made a game plan. First things first—I would find a job. Carmen said she could give me a few hours a week at the coffee shop, but that wasn’t going to be enough. The second thing I would do was go out to the club with her and this Laurent guy and check out what this whole “sponsor” thing was about.
Along with all of that, I’d figure out how to make the most of my deceased status and get really good at haunting so I could get my grandfather’s stuff and then torture Kiam until he scratched his pretty eyeballs out. Was it bad that I hoped he would kiss me first? I didn’t want to think about what it said about me, hoping to make out with my murderer before I tortured him.
Nope, wasn’t going to dwell on that while I sat here on her couch waiting for her to get off her phone. Apparently, cellphones didn’t always work here but at least they existed.
