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She watched as he searched for her program on the screen, her mind on something else entirely. Had he been horrified and just hidden it well? Would he want her to abort? Did she want to have a baby? This baby? There was so much to consider, and she was too tired for it right now.

When Cypher got the show on, she pushed all other worries from her mind and focused on the screen. Then the world faded away.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Lauren’s whimper woke Cypher. She still lay curled against his chest, one arm stretched across his belly as if she had to hold onto him. But she wasn’t as limp and relaxed as she’d been when she’d fallen asleep watching that silly show.

Now she was tense and she held on to him tightly.

“It’s all right, sweetheart,” he murmured, keeping his voice low. He wasn’t trying to wake her, not yet. But he hoped somewhere in her mind, she would hear him and that would soothe her.

Slowly, her hand griping his shirt relaxed, the whimpering stopped and her breathing eased. She seemed to drift back into a peaceful sleep. He closed his eyes and listened to her breathe and drifted off himself, hoping that was the worst way things haunted her after this ordeal. It was unlikely, he knew, but he could hope.

“What do you think?” Cypher said as he stepped into the empty kitchen and leaned against the bar. He watched as Lauren moved around the kitchen, looking in cabinets and opening the refrigerator.

“It’s not bad. Not what I had in mind, and that’s not a bad thing.”

“But you don’t like it?” he asked. Wondering what it would take.

“It’s not that. It’s just…” she trailed off, then continued, “Blank. It’s like it’s fresh out of the box. A place to stay for a few days, but not a home.”

“What would it need? Paint? New carpet?”

Lauren tilted her head to one side and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. “I don’t think the whole thing needs paint, but one or two walls here or there, that would be good.”

“Any idea what colors you want? Do you want to do that before we move in or do them a little at a time.” Cypher watched her. He wondered what was going through her head. What she was thinking. Was she thinking like he was? That the bedroom next to the primary one would make a great nursery. And she could set up an office in the other one, at least for now. And if they decided they want more kids, they could see what they wanted to do then, either having another, bigger place built on the compound, or adding on to this one. He didn’t care either way, they could do whichever she wanted.

“What are you thinking?”

Cypher blinked himself back to the present and found Lauren watching him.

“I’m thinking I’d do just about anything to make you happy and to keep you around.” He pushed his hip away from the counter and closed the distance between them. He realized as he reached her that sometime between when they’d come into the room and left, Elle had left them alone. Had she said something and he’d missed it? He glanced around, wondering if she’d just stepped into another room, and could likely hear everything they were saying of if something happened and she had left entirely? How could he have missed something like that?

“She left,” Lauren said. “She said we didn’t need her here to make a decision and it wasn’t like she was doing anything but standing around, so she went back to check on Hex and Charlotte.”

Cypher smirked. “She hovers over that little one. It’s clear how much she loves her.” He lowered his voice. “Are you ready to talk about those test results or do you need more time?”

She took a deep breath and held it for a moment before letting it out.

“I’m not sure. I think I know where I stand, or at least I know what I want to happen, but I’m afraid it’s not what you want, and I don’t know what I’d do if we don’t both want the same thing.”

He stared at her, his heart seeming to thunder in his ears. “All right. Let’s take this one step at a time. I know we haven’t been seeing each other long but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be adults about this and have all the talks you normally space out and have a little at a time. He watched her reactions a moment then realized how difficult it was for him to say these things while looking at her face and suspected it likely wasn’t any easier for her. “How about we go for a walk, nothing fast, or difficult, just a stroll down to the lake while we talk?”

“I like that.” She smiled. “Let’s do that.”

He walked her out of the house, waving when he saw the curtains at Hex’s place, then he held one hand down for Lauren as they turned down the path that led to the back of the property and the lake the compound bordered.

“So, have you ever thought about having kids?” he asked once they were far enough away he wasn’t worried about being overheard.

“I have. I want kids, but I’m getting older, I know I’m running out if time and if I’m going to have them, it has to be soon.”

“Good to know. I’ve wanted a couple for a while, but not with just anyone. I’ve always seen myself as being with my kids’ mother for the rest of our lives. I wanted to wait until I was sure I’d found her before I even took the risk.”

She snorted but didn’t say anything.

Cypher chuckled.

“I know that sounds odd considering where we are right now, but I’m trying to have all the talks a couple is supposed to have before this. And yes, I know the only way to be one hundred percent safe is to keep it in your pants, but I’m careful. Always. I always wrap it. And I’m picky about the ones I do sleep with. Or at least I have been since there was a scare when I was still a teenager. After that, my dad sat me down and explained it all in simple terms, precautions fail. And some of them fail often. If I look at someone and never want to see her again, then do I want even the most remote of chances I could be tied to them for the rest of my life? That changed my life and the way I saw a lot of things.”