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“I....”

“Was right. One hundred percent. I am a chicken shit when it comes to you. Because I love you.

“It started out as a big brother kind of love. I was fascinated with how a little thing like you grew from a button into a walking talking person. Then you started getting your own attitude. When you would look at me in frustration and say, ‘hep me My Ka’ or ‘more My Ka’ I could never refuse you.

“As you got older, I marveled at how quickly you picked things up. Then one day I came home from war to see my little girl graduate, and a woman had taken her place.

“I noticed how adult you were, your conversation skills, and your valedictorian speech blew me away. You had a vision and a goal. I knew you were going places.

“When I looked at you, I no longer saw a little girl. I saw a full-grown beautiful woman and I panicked. I shouldn’t have been looking at you like that. So, I did what I do best, I disappeared.

“And I’ve wanted you every day since. And it’s wrong.”

“You see, that is where you went wrong,” I snap back. “You don’t get to make unilateral decisions for me. Especially without talking to me. There is information I have that you needed to know before making your decisions.”

“Like what?”

“Like, I love you. Have loved you for years. That I’ve been working my ass off to make you proud of me and to prove I was worthy of you. Of your bravery.”

“That’s... not possible.”

“Well, call my mom. She and I have talked about this forever. She’s known my plan for years.”

“Your dad?”

“He’s suspected, but we only recently brought him into the fold. He’s down with it as long as you don’t break my heart, then he’d probably kill you.” I laugh.

CHAPTER 14

Micha

“That is not funny. It’s too true.” I frown at her.

JB has known and hasn’t said anything? I remember our last conversation I asked about the family; Clair and Juni and how they were. He’d paused and said, “She knows her mind and her heart. She has goals and is working toward them. I will always support her.”

“Juni, I...”

She holds up her hand. “I need coffee. Your kind of strong coffee. I need food. Spongy food to sop up whatever is sloshing around in my stomach. And I need another shower and a bottle of mouthwash. Then we will talk. You do the food. I’m hitting the shower.”

Thirty minutes later she’s sitting at the table wearing one of my T-shirts and socks. She just inhaled five pancakes and is on her second cup of what she calls my extra-leaded coffee.

“How are you feeling?” I ask.

“Almost human. I am contemplating a nap. Will you join me?”

“Juni, your dad...”

“No! This is you and me talking. No one else gets to come into our house, our bedroom. I love you and want a relationship with you. Sex. Babies. Sex. Vacations. I want to live here, on our mountain, and raise a family. You get to do your SAR, I want to be a Ranger and volunteer with SAR as much as the rest of our lives permit. I want to make this cabin our family home with a swing set and slide out back. I want family dinners with friends and my parents when they want to come. And a dog. And chickens.

“My grandpa on mom’s side was two years younger than grandma and died twenty years before her. Age is just a number.

“No one. Not you at forty-whatever or me at twenty-three know what cards we’ve been given. I do not want to waste any time or years away from the one I love on a ‘what if’ clause. I love the man you are right now and will still love you twenty years from now.”

She stands and holds out her hand. “I need a nap and I need you to cuddle me while I take it.”

Crawling under the covers, she throws them back and pats the sheet next to her. How can I say no, when it’s something I’ve dreamed of for years? Having her with me, loving her, her loving me back. Sharing a life, a house, a bed. I slide in behind her and snuggle her into the curve of my body. I never expected to fall asleep so fast.

Dusk is falling and the fire needs stoked. Carefully, I climb from the bed and tend to things. Then pause to watch her asleep. She’s right. Again. I’m not wasting time on doubts. I’m grabbing what I want and holding on for as long as I can.