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“Mr. Darcy?”
“Pray do not pretend to misunderstand me.”
“You know about Mr. Darcy and me?”
“How could I not know? I have seen the way the two of you looked at each other. I also know your feelings for each other extend far beyond the bounds of casual acquaintances.”
Elizabeth felt her color rising. Did everyone know about her affair with Mr. Darcy? She persuaded herself such was not the case, for doing otherwise was not something she wanted to think of. Besides, it was Jane speaking. Jane, who knew Elizabeth better than anyone else in the world knew her. Of course, Jane would know or at least suspect.
Oh! How Jane must be feeling.
“Why did you not say anything?”
“I was waiting for you to tell me.”
“Oh, Jane. I must apologize for concealing so much from you. Part of me wanted nothing more than to confide in you, but I did not want you to think less of me.”
“Oh, Lizzy,” Jane began, “As for what occurs between consenting adults, who am I to judge? Both you and Mr. Darcy are healthy and full of life and much too young to suffer the loneliness a widow of one and twenty and a widower of eight and twenty must surely endure.”
Jane hugged her sister. “I could not have been happier for you. Knowing you have found the love you so richly deserve means everything to me. It is what I have always hoped for you.”
“Love? You suppose me to be in love?” Elizabeth asked upon relinquishing her sister’s embrace.
“Are you not?” Jane asked with surprise.
“Whether I am in love makes no difference now—now that Mr. Darcy has left Hertfordshire with no promise of a return. If I am to be entirely honest, any hope I secretly entertained that I might see him again was lost when he failed to attend your ball.”
Jane’s lips tightened in understanding. “I know you would have liked for him to have come and how much it pained you when he did not. I suspect you believe his absence at the ball meant he no longer cares for you as he did before.”
Elizabeth nodded. “It was then that I realized I had lost him forever.”
“Now, you cannot know that for sure.”
“Dearest, Jane, if only I were as good as you, I would have no cause to repine. I fear, however, my pessimism is justified. It is my reward for comporting myself the way I did when Mr. Darcy was here as your guest. My losing Mr. Darcy forever is no less than I deserve.”
“Lizzy?”
“I wish it were not so,” Elizabeth said. “But I must live with this feeling and accept it.”
“You do not mean that, Lizzy,” Jane said.
In truth, Elizabeth did not know how to feel regarding whether she deserved to lose Mr. Darcy’s affection. All she knew was she missed him more and more with each passing day. And whenever Caroline Bingley’s words crept into her mind regarding his presumed courtship with Lady Alexandria Middleton or whatever was the young heiress and purported beauty’s name, Elizabeth took what little comfort could be taken in the idea that between Mr. Darcy and herself, at least one of them was happy.
Days later, Elizabeth met with a delightful surprise when she was out walking on the lane. Her friend Charlotte was just up ahead, waiting for her. What a balm for Elizabeth to see a friendly face, for Charlotte was one of the few people besides Jane who did not fault her for her decision not to marry Mr. Collins.
Elizabeth, however, detected a change in her friend when the two stood face to face. Charlotte wasted no time bringing Elizabeth abreast of her recent development.
“You are the one person in the world whose friendship I value most,” Charlotte began, “which is why I fear you will wonder and blame me for a decision I have made, and as much as your disapprobation will injure me, my resolve is unshakeable.”
“Charlotte, what in heavens are you talking about? You are too sensible to warrant any disapprobation on my part. You are the most sensible person I know.”
“I fear you will not feel that way when you hear what I have to say.”
Elizabeth laughed at her friend’s consternation. “I doubt that very much—that is, unless you mean to tell me you are engaged to marry Mr. Collins.” Elizabeth could not help but laugh aloud at hearing the words fall from her mouth.
Charlotte, however, was not laughing.
“Charlotte?” Elizabeth cried.
