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If they had texted me back, I was unaware of it since I’d stuffed my phone into the cup holder, trying like hell to stop the tears from streaming down my face as I drove home.

On complete auto pilot, I’d somehow safely parked my vehicle, rode the elevator a few floors up, and unlocked the door to find Avery and Peyton waiting for me on the couch, ready to pick up the pieces of my heart that I’d left on Hunter’s doorstep a couple of weeks ago.

“Oh my God, Andi,” Peyton gasped.

My knees sunk to the floor along with my purse and keys, every emotion finally hitting me with the realization I couldn’t hold them in any longer and act like everything was okay.

This is what it felt like to be truly heartbroken and in despair.

“It’s going to be okay,” Avery whispered into my ear, both of my friends holding me tightly in their arms just a few feet in front of the entryway.

Even though I’d kept the details from Avery and Peyton for weeks now, I think their intuition knew something was off. Part of me wanted to believe them when they said it would all be okay, because with them by my side, everything had always been more than okay. Right now, life was just a little bruised and going through this kind of pain had been a new territory for me.

I’d be even more lost if I didn’t have them to run to. I needed them more than ever.

They’d been through it all, and they were my only chance at surviving the aching pain poking incessantly at my heart.

“Come on, let’s get you up.” Pulling me up from each side, they helped guide me to the couch, every part of me feeling like a zombie as my shoes slipped off, and a blanket was wrapped around me, giving me the comfort and warmth I hadn’t felt since being with Hunter.

“When you’re ready, we’re here for you babe.” Avery rubbed my arm, reassuring me as her words sank in, and I realized I had no idea where to even begin.

After a beat of silence, and who knows how much time of me fixating on the wall in front of me, I finally found it in me to say something.

“I … I don’t even know where to start.” My chin dipped into my chest; my gaze solely focused on my fingers as they toyed with the loose fabric from the blanket.

“It doesn’t matter where you start. Get it out however you need to, and we will sit right here with you and listen.” Peyton rubbed her thumb reassuringly back and forth over my knee.

I took a deep breath and started to pull from the random thoughts that had been running through my mind since that night.

“Everything was amazing. Until it wasn’t. I hardly ever came home because I was living in a fairytale at Hunter’s house. Waking up with him, falling asleep in his arms, eating every meal together, driving to work in the same car, those intimate moments we fit in at the arena when we probably shouldn’t have. I finally found the person who had the ability to see me. The real me. I⁠—”

Words began to clog my throat all over again. Even admitting to my best friends that I told a guy I loved him and he didn’t say it back was fucking embarrassing. It was something I had always tried to avoid.

“It’s okay, let it out.” Avery moved so she could sit on one side of me with Peyton on the other.

An all too familiar feeling washed over me as Avery guided my head to her lap, and fed her fingers through my hair, putting me at ease one stroke at a time. The irony wasn’t lost on me when just last year it had been her head in my lap as she struggled with her own relationship.

And then my mind wandered to Hunter’s hands brushing through my hair in the same exact way. Moments before the video switched from hockey to a goodbye message.

It was then, when he was brushing through my hair, that I knew I couldn’t hold on to those three words any longer. I was confident that as I felt the heat of his gaze on me while I watched the old tape he shared the same feelings about me.

“I told Hunter I loved him, and he didn’t say it back,” I sobbed. “He couldn’t say it back.”

My body shook as I relived the moment of it all. My voice mixed with the sound of another woman’s—both of us telling Hunter completely different feelings rushing to the surface.

“What do you mean he couldn’t say it back?” Peyton leaned over, doing her best to wipe away the added tears running down my cheek.

Pulling myself from Avery’s lap, I sat up, trying my best to compose myself.

“I just wanted to see him playing hockey. We should have just looked it up on the fucking internet.” My emotions boiled over, and without thinking, I tossed a throw pillow across the living room. Luckily, my little outburst didn’t break anything.

Avery and Peyton looked at each other. “You’ve lost us, babe,” my roommate blurted out.

“Hunter has all these old tapes his mom used to record of him playing. I picked a random one for us to watch so he could reminisce, and I could see a little bit of the Hunter I never knew. I—Just give me a moment. I … I need water or something.”

My heart sped up, sweat formed along my forehead, and it felt like I was two seconds away from a mental breakdown.

“Stay. I got it.” Avery hopped up to fetch some water as Peyton rubbed my back, soothing me as I tried to slow down my breathing.