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“There’s security. It’ll be fine. I promise I’m not going to risk Marco catching up to me again.” She pulls out her phone. “You should go back to the venue.”

The hell I will. I sit on the edge of the bed. “I’m not leaving.”

“Please Kodiak, go. I won’t let you blow your life up for me. That’s the last thing I want.” She lights up her phone and taps on the screen.

I rub at my chest as she walks into the bathroom. I can already hear her on the phone with her friend, asking them to come get her. It fucking hurts to know I have no hold on her heart. But I guess I should have seen that bearing down on me like one of the trucks our gear is loaded onto when we move from city to city. It was never about me. It was always about him.

About how much he hurt her.

How she needed time to get over him.

How something serious wasn’t what she was after.

She told me and I hoped anyway. Because the way I feel about her... I don’t know how I’ll ever get over it.

32

Kelsey

Kodiak carries my bags out and puts them by the door while I take a moment to look around. The suite itself is the same as any other suite we’ve stayed in these past couple of months. It’s not a place I will miss. It’s not home.

My gaze flits over the couch where we watched the movie earlier. Where my guys made my biggest fantasy come true.

To the chair that Jasper always takes. At the spot at the table where Rook and I have conversations when everyone else is gone. Dozens of hotels in a reel in my mind adding up to one picture where all the details are the same.

The hotel isn’t home. But the guys—my guys—are. I can’t just leave them without saying goodbye. Finding the hotel stationery and a pen, I sit down at the table.

Kodiak settles on the couch. Giving me the space to write each of them a note without leaving me on my own.

My Drummer Boy. My gorgeous, kind friend. My champion. He knew what we were from the beginning. He knew how this would end. But it didn’t stop him from trying to heal the rift in our world. And it doesn’t hurt my heart any less to say goodbye.

Thank you for everything. I’ll call you as soon as I can. Kels xx

Next letter is for Golden. My quiet, thoughtful guy. His confession made me wonder if it was possible to love multiple men at the same time and have them love me back. The pain in my chest tells me that it is more than a possibility.

I’m sorry. Give me time. Talk soon. Your Special K.

Kodiak is next.

Even though I want to be mad at him because he refuses to leave me here alone, he’s my constant. My bear. In a world full of pain and people who would hurt me, he was the one I knew never would. I hate that I hurt him. But I can’t stay.

I fell for you too. It just wasn’t enough for me to stop loving him. I hope one day you’ll forgive me for causing you pain. You’ll always be with me. Your Scary Girl xx

I wipe the wetness from my face.

One more to go. Riot. Does he even want a goodbye from me after we blew up so spectacularly? What could possibly be left to say between us? It’s clear our issues are too big to get past. But it doesn’t change that my heart aches for him.

I have been in love with you for as long as I have known you. With your smile and your music and your dreams for our future. Even when you were convinced that we would only ever be friends.

I wanted so much to be a part of your world. I hoped one day you would see us as more than the friends that we were.

And then you did, and it was... everything.

I wish we could get back there. Where we couldn’t wait to share all our secrets. Where it was easy to trust. And where we believed I would always be with you.

But since we can’t... I have things that I want for you.

I want you to have your dream in whatever shape that takes now. I want you to be happy. And eventually, to be loved by someone who can see you as you really are when the lights dim and the crowds have gone home.