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He runs his thumb over the image. “Hand etched.”

“Yeah.” I take it when he offers it back. Flip the lid open. Roll a flame. Flip the lid closed. The shakes have calmed, but the rest of me is at breaking point. “If you’re here to tell me Kelsey left, I already figured.”

“Hmm. I suspected you would.” He clasps his hands between his knees.

“Go on. Just fucking say it.” Whatever he has to say, I’m sure I’ve already thought it.

“I have a kid,” he says. “About your age. Not that you’re a kid. You know what I mean.”

“What the fuck? How did I not know that?” It’s not exactly a question that I’d come out and ask, but we’ve lived in each other’s pockets for years. And he’s never once mentioned having a family. I’ve never overheard any calls that would suggest he has a kid. “You’re blowing my fucking mind here.”

He looks sad. “He has a couple of older brothers. Always felt like they were my kids too, though not by blood. None of them talk to me. In fact, they don’t know I exist.”

“That’s—”

“Terrible fucking parenting,” he says. “I do keep an eye on the youngest, though. He’s inclined to get himself in trouble, and I want to be there if he ever needs me. Until then, it’s just from a distance.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Does he want me to sign some merch for these kids of his? Give him something that might win him some points with them. Because right now is like the worst fucking time.

“Because I made a terrible fucking decision that cost me my boys. Their mom and I... she had her issues and I had mine. It was not meant to last. So when it was time to move on... I did. But not just from her. I thought it would be best to sever ties. Told myself that was the best option for them. Maybe it was.” He waggles his head and grimaces. “I was a prick back then. Spent a lot of my time rebuilding motorcycles, drinking too much, and doing some real shady shit.”

I hear it in his voice. Who he might have been before. “But it turned out for the best, didn’t it?”

He jiggles his knees. Presses his palms together. His gunmetal gaze levels with mine. “Yeah, sure. I got into the Marines. Got out of there and started in the private sector. Financially, I do alright.”

“I’d hope so.” Otherwise, we’re going to have to talk about taking over his contract with the label.

“So tell me why it feels like someone ripped my heart right out of my chest every time I see my boys. And they’re all grown up. And going through shit. And they don’t know they can turn to me for advice or help or whatever they need.”

“I get that.” He sees all of us—the band, Kelsey—as his surrogate family. His children. And we see him as a father figure. I clamp my hand on his shoulder. “Hell, if I could have had a dad who wasn’t a deadbeat piece of shit, who I could turn to for help, you would be the kind of man I would want him to be.”

“Thanks for saying that,” he says with a strained grin.

“Maybe you should reach out. Maybe your kids would like to know that you want to be in their lives.” Maybe I’d like to know why my own dad left when I was too little to remember him properly. I’d really love the opportunity to tell him to go to hell.

“I don’t know about that.” He rubs a hand over his short, cropped hair. “What I know is you need to weigh whether you want to continue down this path with L.A. Riot. With Sonatina. And the label. Against what it will feel like when you run into Kelsey again ten... fifteen years from now, married to some other man, raising his kids.”

Writing music... performing in sold out stadiums... this life is what I’ve wanted since I was what... fifteen? I’ve dreamed it, breathed it, and lived it every day since. This life... it’s everything I have ever wanted. I just thought it would be with her. And not a psychotic lying bitch. “At least this way Kelsey will be safe. Kodiak will protect her. And I’ll make sure Sonatina doesn’t go after her.”

“That’s good. It’s a good plan.” He stands. “Except Kelsey won’t be happy. And neither will you. You already know how it feels to lose her once. You’ve been given an opportunity not many people get. A second chance. So you need to be really sure this is how you want your life to play out. Do you want to go down this path again? Where do you want to be in twenty years when you’re old like me? What do you want more than anything else? If this is it... well, you’ve got it made then. But if its not... just be sure, kid.”

He makes his way out of the room as Golden saunters in.

“We’re heading up,” he says.

“Yeah.” I take another drag from my joint. I’d skipped the green room chill... needing to be on my own... they must have too.

He puts his hands in his hoodie pocket. Fuck, Kelsey had looked so damn cute wearing it. I had been so fucking jealous.

He scuffs his shoe. “Kelsey left.”

“Yeah.”

“Kodiak’s missing,” he says.

“Yeah.” Makes sense. I grind out the rest of the joint. Kodiak adores her. He always swore he’d leave for her.

Twenty years from now, will Kodiak be the man she’s with? Will it be his children she’s raised? Will he be the one that loved her for a lifetime in the way she needed? The way she deserved? Is he the one to make her happy?