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“You’re not going to steal my fiancé,” she screams at me.

“Oh.” I laugh. “That’s rich. You’re the one who stuck your vagina where it wasn’t wanted.”

Riot stumbles. He fucking stumbles.

“He wanted me,” she screams back. “He wanted me so fucking badly he didn’t care that you were under the same roof.”

Ouch. That stings in the worst possible way. Because it’s true. Because I don’t know how to get over having my heart shattered. Or when thinking about it will stop leaving me feeling gutted.

“He wants me now... you’ll see. You’re just a homeless charity case.”

“You’re obsessed. You’re sick. You’re a fucking stalker-level psycho.” I’m still imprisoned by Kodiak’s arm around me. It’s the only reason my run at that bitch is over before it begins.

“You think I’m scared of you, Slut?”

“One day Riot won’t be there to save you.” I grind my teeth. “And then I am going to kick your ass.”

“Kelsey.” Riot’s voice is commanding. It says he’s had enough. It says he’s not on my side, no matter the words he uttered to the universe, asking it to manifest me at the end of the bottle. No matter the way he can still kiss me senseless.

The fight in me fizzles. Not because I don’t want to reconfigure Sonatina’s face, but because... what would be the point? Survival trumps everything. My broken feelings about Riot. How much I hate Sonatina. My desire to protect the band.

None of it will mean anything if Marco catches up with me.

Riot escorts her to the door. “You need to go to your dressing room. Or somewhere that isn’t here.”

She bends her neck sharply to one side. Her hard gaze narrows on me. “You are going to regret ever getting in my way.”

The hairs on the back of my arms stand up.

As she turns on her spindly heels Bronx, Kodiak and Golden close in around me. They bring me into the shelter of their hard bodies.

“She’s never going to hurt you,” Kodiak promises me.

Bronx and Golden say something similar.

But the one person whose reassurance still seems to matter more than anyone else’s leans against the wall with his back to me.

Sonatina can’t make me regret crossing her path any more than I already do.

21

Lennon

That didn’t just happen... did it?

Puffing, I grip the left side of my ribcage as I slow to a fast walk. I’m used to running all over the place for Sonatina. But not like... actually... running away. I hurry down the passage toward the dressing rooms. They’re quiet and empty since everyone else is still in the green room. There’s no bodyguard following me like there is when I’m with Sonatina. She’s Carmine’s pop princess and I am nobody.

That’s how I like it. I want to be a shadow. I don’t know how many times in my twenty-three years of life I’ve wished that the earth would open under my feet and swallow me. At least once a day for as far back as I can remember.

This is different from the way I want to vanish when Sonatina is screaming at me. Hurling objects at my head. Or... worse.

My face is on fire still. So is my chest. I press my fingers to the base of my neck, and their coolness does nothing to abate the heat. They warm instantly.

I duck inside Sonatina’s dressing room. Even though this is L.A. Riot’s tour, hers is the biggest one. Closing myself in, I lean against the door with my heart palpitating in my chest. There’s a ringing in my ears. I’m not certain that I’m okay.

Actually, I’m certain I’m not okay.

I bury my face in my hands. That’s not how I thought my first kiss would go. I don’t think I ever thought I would have a first kiss. Playing spin the bottle never entered my mind. Being shoved into it by Sonatina was nothing out of the ordinary of course. And the way Kodiak stared down at me like he would have preferred me to be anyone else. Would have really preferred it if I were Kelsey. Because she is lovely. So pretty, and funny, and she’s been kind to me when she has no reason to be. And maybe many reasons not to be.