Healing Hearts in the Little Village
Page 69
Her heart pounded so loudly she was amazed Callum couldn’t hear it. Medically, she knew it was impossible, yet the racing beats were so deafening in her own ears that it seemed impossible that he wouldn’t hear them.
His hand brushed the small of her back as he guided her into the living room. It was the tiniest of gestures, yet sent shivers through her and she could still feel the ghost of his touch as she perched nervously on the sofa.
He cleared his throat. ‘Can I get you anything? Coffee? Glass of wine?’
‘No, thank you.’ She took a deep breath and tried to calm her churning stomach by will alone. ‘Let’s just get this over with.’
Confusion clouded his face and darkened his eyes. ‘What do you think this is, Liv?’
She shrugged, not really wanting to make things easier for him by saying the words. ‘Like I said, “needing to talk” conversations aren’t usually ones people look forward to.’
‘I’m hoping this is an exception.’ He sat next to her, but left her space to still easily move away. Even though it was the last thing she wanted.
‘I’m listening.’
‘I don’t really know how to say this.’
‘Well, I don’t know what it is you’re trying to say, so I can’t really help.’ She tried to laugh, but the sound choked in her throat.
‘This . . . what we have between us . . . I don’t think it’s working for me, Liv. I know we talked about things, and agreed we’d just be friends and keep anything else casual, but . . . I don’t think I can. I’m sorry.’
Liv’s heart felt like it redoubled its efforts, thundering in her ears as she went cold and fought to keep her hands from shaking. She didn’t want him to see how upset she was — not after so little time together. And he hadn’t promised her anything. So she had no right to be upset. And yet, she felt as if something inside her had broken with his words, so she bit the inside of her cheek hard, not wanting to get upset in front of him.
* * *
Liv refused to meet his eyes, making it so much harder for him to even guess at what she was thinking. His stomach was twisting in knots, and he felt like he couldn’t quite catch his breath. He was about to put everything — his happiness as well as Sarah’s — on the line, the one thing he’d promised himself that he would never do again. But when he’d seen Liv and Sarah upstairs and, more importantly, heard their goodnight, the thought he’d been trying to avoid for weeks crystallized into sharp, unavoidable focus: it was already too late. He was already too far gone.
‘Liv, will you say something, please?’
‘Like what?’ Her voice was clipped and choked. He reached over and slid his fingers beneath her chin, forcing her to look up at him. The unshed tears and anger in her gaze pierced his heart.
‘I don’t think I’m doing a very good job of making myself clear.’
‘I understand you fine.’ She shook off his touch.
‘Oh, so you really are still seeing all of this—’ he gestured around hopelessly trying to encompass himself, Sarah, Broclington and everything else important in his world — ‘as just a place and a phase you’re passing through?’
‘No!’ Her eyes flashed angrily. ‘Do you really think I’m that heartless? That I care about you and Sarah, and Broclington so little?’ She shoved him away and started gathering up her things in sharp, angry movements.
Panic rose in his throat, and he reached out to her, seizing her hands. They shook in his, and his stomach clenched painfully. ‘I don’t want you to go, Liv. That’s what I’m trying to say.’
‘I’m just a locum.’
‘But when we’ve raised the funds to save the surgery, which we will, there’s going to be new roles. One of them could be for you, if you wanted. If it wasn’t for your ideas and your hard work, there wouldn’t even be a future for the surgery. It should be your job.’ He smoothed a strand of hair away from her face and cupped her cheek in his palm. Her skin was warm against his, and familiar in a way which he wanted to repeat again and again, countless times. ‘I want it to be your job. I want you to stay, Liv.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I think I’ve broken my promise to you.’
She shrugged and shook her head, still not understanding what he was trying to say.
‘I promised we’d be friends, Liv. That we wouldn’t be anything serious. Because we both knew you’d be leaving. But . . .’ He forced a deep breath into his lungs. ‘I lied to you. I don’t think I can be just your friend. And I’m not sure I ever could. I think I’m falling in love with you. And I know I have no right to expect you to feel the same, but . . . would you consider staying? And maybe giving us a chance?’
‘I don’t know what to say.’
He could see her hands starting to shake, so he pulled them into his.
‘What do you want to say?’