Healing Hearts in the Little Village
Page 70
‘I think I’m scared to answer that,’ she admitted, her voice so quiet that he strained to hear her.
‘You think I’m not scared? Liv, I’m terrified. But . . . I have to ask. I might be wrong, but I really think — I really hope — that I’m not. Is there something more here than friendship and . . . casual enjoyment?’ He swallowed hard. It was now or never. ‘Because, for me, I think there might be. And—’ he took a step towards her, squeezing her hands more tightly — ‘I really would like to find out.’
‘I . . .’ She stared at him, her eyes wide and overly bright, and he felt like he’d been sucker-punched in the stomach by the knowledge that he’d caused her distress.
‘Liv.’ He pulled her towards the sofa and sat down. ‘I’m not asking you to promise me forever. I can’t promise you that either. But I can, and will, promise that I wouldn’t ever hurt you the way your ex did. Do you know that?’
‘I want to believe you,’ she admitted softly. ‘I really do.’
‘But after everything you’ve been through, it’s hard for you to trust anyone.’
She nodded and pulled away from him, leaving him feeling bereft.
‘I don’t want to put any pressure on you, Liv, and I’m sorry if this has. If you tell me you don’t want anything more, then we can go back to just being friends. Or colleagues. Whatever you need, I will do. And if that means pretending the last few minutes haven’t happened, and that I haven’t said any of this, then I’ll figure out how to do that. OK? But if you think there might be something here, I’m just asking you to try and let your guard down and give us a chance.’
‘I don’t think I can do that.’ She shook her head.
‘I understand.’ And even though he meant the words, they were still agony to say. Whatever it was that she needed, he’d work out how to be it. Even if it was just a friend.
‘I mean, I think you’re right. And I don’t think I can pretend this conversation never happened. As much as I’m terrified, I think there might be something more here. Between us. And that really, really scares me.’ She took a deep breath. ‘But, if I’m honest, I think pretending you’ve not said anything scares me too. Maybe more.’
‘Maybe more?’ He tried to keep the hope out of his voice.
‘Maybe.’ Liv’s gaze fell to study her nails.
‘Look at me, Liv. Please.’
* * *
As much as Liv was terrified, she couldn’t ignore his plea.
‘So, what if we stopped pretending, and gave this . . . us . . . a chance?’
‘You make it sound so easy.’ Liv tried to force back the tears threatening to choke her.
‘Why can’t it be that easy?’ He squeezed her hands gently.
‘Because it just isn’t.’
‘Because you’ve been hurt and let down?’ Even though his tone was gentle, his words still hurt.
‘Yes.’
‘You’re not the only one.’
‘I know that.’
‘Be honest with me, Liv, is that all that’s holding you back? Being scared?’ His eyes searched hers.
‘Yes, but it’s a pretty big “all”, isn’t it?’ She had to force the words out.
‘It is. Yes. But isn’t there a part of you that wants to try?’
She couldn’t keep a smile from teasing the corner of her lips. ‘I think there might be.’
He brought up a hand to caress her cheek. ‘You think, or you know?’
She nodded, slowly. ‘Yes. There’s a part of me that really does want to try. I just don’t know how to.’