Page 93
‘He is.’
‘So he used you!’
‘Quite the reverse, actually, and while finding some affection in the arms of Harry, I have discovered genuine clarity about us. We’re finished, Matthew. I know now that I always needed someone like Harry in my life; nothing about you can come close to making me feel how special he made me feel. You’ve had four years. He’s seen me three times in a few days, both of those occasions with others around us. And still I felt more affection from him and towards him across a room than you’ve been able to achieve in all our time together. Before you say it, I know you love me in your own way. I remember now your careful wording when you proposed your idea that we should marry. You admitted it would be friendship first and foremost. I didn’t pay enough attention. You were being desperately honest, weren’t you? Meanwhile I was being dazzled by your amusing way, your gallant manner and the door that was opening to offer a most suitable marriage and the perfect escape from men I knew I definitely did not want to marry.’
‘“Till death do us part” was your vow. I will never release you, Alex. Divorce is out of the question.’
She swallowed. ‘I haven’t thought that far ahead. The blame is clearly mine. I want more from my marriage.’
‘If it’s children, I —’
‘It’s not. It’s . . . it’s everything, Matthew.’
‘I will not, repeat not, give you a divorce.’
‘Then you truly don’t love me, not even as a friend.’
‘Accept it how you wish. It won’t change the outcome.’
‘So now I’m your prisoner?’
‘No, you are my wife and you should start behaving accordingly.’
‘Or what, you’ll tell my parents? Go ahead. And when they ask I’ll let them know how ignored I am.’
‘Do you think he’s going to call off his wedding for you?’
‘You keep bringing Harry into the conversation. I guess it makes it easier for you to blame anyone but us. Let’s not talk about this any more or we’ll go in circles. I need time to think about your odd position.’
He shrugged. ‘Nothing to think on, darling. Just make the best of your situation. I never promised anything but my name and my indulgence of your freedoms. You have both.’
She knew he was right.
The trip home was as frigidly silent as the winter landscape . . . as the lonely life that was spreading out before her. Arriving at the house, she noted her car was already parked in the garage and there was no sign of Harry.
‘He’s probably inside,’ Matthew said, as if answering a query.
‘I doubt that.’ This was their first exchange in more than half an hour.
‘I won’t be needing dinner,’ he said, sounding chillier than the air that enveloped them as they emerged from the vehicle.
‘No surprises there,’ she remarked, no longer able to keep the sour note hidden. ‘I’m not hungry, anyway, so I’ll let Norma know. Are you coming inside?’
‘No, I think I’ll warm up at the club. It’s all a bit frosty around here.’
‘Suit yourself. I have a telephone call to make. I should at least keep the promise that I would investigate the elusive Kitty a bit further.’
He gave her a wry smile. ‘I’m sure you should.’
‘Will you stay at the club tonight?’
‘Only for a drink or two – there’s someone I have to see. I shall be home later. Perhaps I should knock on your door?’ The suggestion arrived on a sarcastic tone.
‘Not tonight, Matthew. Not any night, in fact.’
He shrugged, feigning confusion. ‘Don’t say I don’t offer,’ he said over his shoulder, easing back into his car. He drove away before she’d even entered their house.
22
