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“If I said it out loud, I was afraid it would come true. I was holding out hope.”

I wasn’t exactly happy in our relationship either, but I really thought we could make it work. Eventually.

Maggie was holding me and when I could finally stop crying, two hours had gone by with my face as bright as a cherry and as puffy as a marshmallow.

She stayed with me for three days after that and to her surprise—I was correct. Graham did want a divorce.

It’s been eight months since we signed the divorce papers and since I’ve seen Graham. I’m truly happy it’s over with. The relationship and the divorce. But when you’re with someone for that long, it takes time to heal. It takes time to find out who you are without them. Regardless of whether the relationship was right or not, you really have to take in the time you have with someone, because you never know when the last time you’ll see them is.

I suppose that’s why I wanted to see my dad. I didn’t want the last time I saw him to be a horrible moment for us. Time isn’t always guaranteed.

I center myself back to my dad. I hate reliving it all.

“I’m sorry, Bills. For everything,” he apologizes.

“How did it happen?” I ask, changing the subject.

“Eloise, you mean?”

I nod. Something drastic must have happened for their relationship to come to an end. If my leaving didn’t do it, I don’t know what could have. My dad was with her for over twenty years.

“When everything, you know—” He waves his hand around, gesturing at me. “She was so distraught after what happened between you two. She had so much anger, as you know.” He hesitates before continuing, “I came to eventually find out she was hiding money at a separate bank. She was planning our demise for a long time, scheming, I should say. But I let it go.” He lets out a wry chuckle as he remembers.

“I didn’t know how to be on my own. She made a lot more money than I did. I was a coward,” he confesses.

The truth is, I’m not surprised Eloise did this to him. It isn’t hard for me to envision her doing something so awful. I hate myself for being so right about her, but I’m also glad she did what she did. Now my dad can be free, finally.

He continues on, “She controlled me. I mean, obviously I made choices I’m not proud of. She’s not the only one at fault here, but she manipulated my life in every way. I couldn’t handle it anymore. Years went by and finally after drinking my way through the days, I told her I couldn’t do it anymore and that I wanted her gone. I’ve been sober for two years now. I stopped drinking once it was official. I got the house, and she got most of the savings. I had it on the market, but the dogs are buried in the backyard. I just couldn’t go through with it.”

His eyes are swollen from all the tears he’s been shedding.

I wish he would have just called me. I would’ve been here for him. I always waited for him to reach out. I thought about doing it myself a million times too, it just didn’t feel right then.

“That’s terrible.” I sigh. “Do you know where she is now?”

He shrugs, his voice resigned. “She travels. She took a higher-ranking job in her department and gets a lot of time off.”

Eloise’s friends have contacted me throughout the years, checking in and telling me that they were sorry for how she treated me. I felt reassured when they’d reach out. It made me feel validated for my decision to have her out of my life. It was just sad that it included my dad too. For the first few years in New York, I had such a busy life. I didn’t have much time to miss him.

“What are you up to now that she’s gone?”

He gives me another distasteful sigh. “I work as a home inspector now. I have for a couple of years. Other than that, golfing mostly. I’ve made a handful of friends at the Quarter Club in Hanford.”

Hanford is just a town over, it’s not far from here.

“That’s great, it’s good you have people. And the new job.”

We sit in another moment of silence, not as awkward as the last.

“Do you plan on staying?” he asks, his eyes light up at his question.

The lamp across the room turns on automatically from a timer, making me jump.

“That was the plan. This was just the only other place I could call home.”

“You can stay here as long as you want. There is plenty of space. You can have your old room back.”

His words are a relief even if it’s what I kind of counted on. I didn’t have a plan, I never booked a hotel or anything.