Page 66
My dad and I sit at each end of the table, eating spaghetti and garlic bread that he prepared.
“That’s a big plan, Bills,” he says, taking a sip of sparkling water.
“I know. But it’s what I want to do. I’m going to open my own bookstore.” I smile. It feels great having something to look forward to.
“In Lakewood?”
“That’s the goal, yeah. If I need to, I’d be willing to open it in Hanford. That’s if no spots are available here first.”
I decided on this business idea on the drive here. After leaving Sean in the parking lot, I felt the need to have something that was just for me. The idea had been floating around in my mind, but I solidified it then and there. I can’t only be here for him and my dad, it needs to be for me too.
If I have other things holding me down, maybe it’ll be easier for me to commit to him—to finally start something.
“I think that’s a great plan. Owning a business is very respectable,” he replies.
He hasn’t vocalized it, but I know he wants me to stay in Lakewood. He has friends, but family is important, and I’m all he’s got. Both of his parents have passed already, and I’m his only kid.
“I think so too. Thanks for having me over. I’d like to do this every week if you’re up for it. Next week, you can come to my place.”
“I’d like that.” He smiles shyly. “I forgot to mention, I’m having a New Year's party and I want you to come. Sean, too. How is he, by the way? Did you have fun on your trip?”
He’s completely straight-faced. He likes Sean, but he doesn’t want to admit it. He has the tough dad act down.
“Ummm, he’s…fine.”
“You guys on the outs now or something?”
“Something like that,” I say, playing with my fork. “It was before I came over. We were out and some guy decided to come talk to me, but I stopped it. Sean lost it. I mean, you should have seen him—he was scary. I swear he was two seconds away from punching the guy. It was so unnecessary.”
I don’t have any girlfriends here, he’s the only one I can talk to about this.
“That doesn’t sound like Sean,” he says, slurping his spaghetti.
“I know, that’s what I’m saying. It was like a whole different person. I hated it. I’ve been through that tough-guy act before. It’s something that I loved about Sean—he’s kind, always.”
He wipes his face with his napkin, thinking for a moment.
“You have to remember he isn’t perfect. He’s only human and humans make mistakes. Sometimes I think you forget that.”
“You think I’m being too hard on him?” I question.
“I think—” He leans forward onto the table, pushing his plate aside, “you’re afraid of being hurt again.”
“Way to give it to me straight, Dad.”
“Hey, kiddo, the truth hurts.”
I roll my eyes.
He finishes his water, crunching on some ice. “Cut him some slack, okay?” he adds rigidly.
“Since when are you encouraging Sean and me? I didn’t think you liked the idea of us, you know, being together in that way.”
“I didn’t know what it meant at first, his being back, but clearly you have some unresolved feelings for him.”
“That obvious?” I ask, flustered.
“Yes, but it’s more apparent from him.”
