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“Is that weird? Most guys play hard to get. Why isn’t Sean like that?”
“When you love someone, you don’t have to play pretend.”
“It’s just real,” I say, agreeing with him.
“Sean has never played games with you. Make sure you do the same for him,” he warns.
“I’m not playing with his heart. I’m just having a hard time figuring out where mine is leading me.”
“Just making sure,” he says, his brow creasing in worry.
Now more than ever, we connect with each other. Sean is nothing but real to me.
My dad wipes his face, removing the red sauce from the scruff on his chin. “I almost forgot. I got you something,” he says. “Give me a second.”
After a minute he comes out of his room with a stained glass panel on a metal hanger.
“I found this at a little market by the office. I thought it would be a nice housewarming gift, but I kept forgetting to give it to you, so now it's an early Christmas gift. It’s sea-glass mixed in there.”
It’s beautiful. The colored sea-glass is formed into an ocean wave with different shades of blue and white. It’ll look great outside my front door.
“I love it. Thank you, Dad.”
15
September, Ten Years Earlier
The doorbell has been ringing every few minutes for the last half hour. Sean had some time to talk on the phone, so we’ve been on FaceTime for just over three hours.
“It’s almost six. I’ll have to leave soon.”
“Already?” I ask.
“Dinner time in the barracks has a strict schedule.”
Eloise is having an end of summer barbecue with all of her friends—I’m surprisingly excited. The group is fun and they’re always kind to me.
Why they are friends with Eloise, I couldn’t tell you.
They’re all so caring and involved with their families. Eloise cares about herself and that’s about it.
Sean smiles blandly through the screen as he hears the doorbell ring once again.
“You want to go, don’t you?” he asks.
“I’m good, let's keep talking until you leave,” I say, trying to act convincing.
Everything has been so…odd with him lately. Now that we’re able to talk on the phone, he tries to reach out every day if he can. He never asked why I didn’t reply to his letters when he was in basic training. He’s just avoided it, and so have I.
Guilt overwhelms me when a guy flirts with me at the restaurant. When you work as a server, it’s inevitable. I’ve started flirting back because, honestly, I like the distraction.
I hate that it makes me feel like a bad person. Sean and I aren’t together—yet it feels like we are. Talking with him everyday doesn’t exactly help that situation. I’m doing exactly what I said I didn’t want to do. Sometimes I just think about letting him go to make it easier. It’s what I planned on all along.
“I’ll just get out of your hair. I’ll talk with you tomorrow?” he asks, hopeful.
“Yeah.” I give him a smile.
This is so hard. I want to be with him. But I need him actually here in order to do that.
