Page 27

“I read your response,” he finally said. “May I ask, if I am not too bold, what are the reasons for your refusal?”

“My reasons? May I be so bold as to ask what the reasons for your proposal were?” she returned, eventually finding the words and the strength to speak up. “I appreciate your honourable intention to repair my error, but I cannot allow your sacrifice as compensation for my foolishness. We both know it would have never crossed your mind to propose to me if not for that incident. How could I agree to marry a man who never approved of me and would come to despise and resent me soon after the wedding?”

He appeared puzzled, even dumbfounded, by her response, and she felt her voice had been too harsh.

“Please know I appreciate your attempt. However, I am sure the rumours will disappear soon, together with your motives for this proposal. I only hope we may remain friends, with no resentment. If there was any threat to your reputation, it will be soon forgotten. As for me, I am content to know I did nothing wrong on purpose.”

Mr Darcy remained silent and thoughtful, looking at her. Elizabeth felt so uncomfortable that she was tempted to turn and leave.

“So,” he said, “if I understand you correctly, your main reason for rejecting my proposal is your conviction that it was induced by the rumours only.”

“Precisely.”

“I see… May I ask…if you will agree to discuss this further…if not for this conviction, if I had presented you with a marriage proposal yesterday, would you have at least considered it? Or is your opinion of me so ill that you would have rejected it regardless?”

The question bewildered her; she had already asked herself that during the night but had not dared answer even in her own mind.

“My opinion of you has improved in recent days,” she responded hesitantly. “It was never truly poor, as I did not know you well enough to sketch your character. But your manners seemed unpleasant to me, just as I am sure my manners did not endear me to you.”

“That is where you are wrong, Miss Bennet. Your manners endeared you to me very much, as soon as I took the trouble to properly observe you.”

She was shocked again, staring at him in disbelief.

“Would you allow me to speak plainly and honestly? As unpleasant as this conversation may be to you, I feel it is a moment that might affect both of our lives.”

His countenance was grave, but the warmth had returned to his eyes and his voice.

“Of course…please do so,” she whispered.

“It is difficult even for me to understand, so I can see why you would be doubtful. Yes, I admit that the only reason for me proposing at this precise time and in such an awkward way was the incident that caused all the gossip. Without it, I am not sure when, or even if, it would have happened. Disguise of any sort is my abhorrence, and I shall not lie to you.”

She only nodded, trying to comprehend his meaning.

“However, in the spirit of absolute truth, I must state that it was not only my sense of duty that prompted me to propose. I would not have done so had it been any other woman in your place. I do realise the incident was not my fault and I could not be blamed for it, nor would my reputation be hurt.”

He paused again, looking at her, waiting for her response. Elizabeth blinked a few times, frowned, and held her breath. What was he implying?

“As I already mentioned, Miss Bennet, I find your manners quite charming, and I have long come to admire your wit, your spirit, your determination… I even confessed as much to Miss Bingley that evening at Lucas Lodge, when I asked you to dance and you refused me. The gossip may have hastened my proposal, but I would not have made the offer to any other woman, no matter what was said of us.”

As he concluded, he looked somehow timid, uneasy, while Elizabeth still could not breathe, overwhelmed by a revelation that she dismissed as being untrue.

“Excuse me?” she choked out against the lump in her throat. “Surely you are joking. What are you saying, sir…?” She leant against a tree to support herself, her incredulous stare upon him.

“I am saying, Miss Bennet, that your assumption regarding my proposal was only partially correct. I am not sure why you presumed I disapproved of you, when my feelings were the opposite almost from the beginning of our acquaintance.”

“This cannot be… I heard you more than once express your objections to my family, even when it was not you involved but Mr Bingley. You cannot deny that.”

“I have no wish to deny it. I did have several objections regarding your family but never regarding you or your eldest sister. Some of those objections were just, but others were simply the result of my arrogant judgment. That is why I struggled with my own feelings for a while and did not consider pursuing you or revealing my admiration for you…until the incident forced me to make a decision. And yesterday, when I finally made up my mind to propose to you, I felt a thrill of joy as I had never experienced before. Of course, I hoped for your acceptance, though I did fear a rejection.”

Another long moment of silence followed. The fact that he had admitted his objections to her family was painful but also a relief to Elizabeth, as it proved his utter honesty.

“Is this all true? Is it not just an attempt to convince me to accept your proposal?” she asked directly.

The little smile appeared on his lips. “Now I might sound insolent, even rude, but I am sure you will understand me. If not for my feelings and my genuine desire to marry you, why would I take the trouble to convince you? If I had proposed to you simply because of the rumours, without truly wanting you as my wife, should I not be relieved by your refusal?”

She scrutinised his face, and their eyes locked.

“True…” she agreed quietly. “But I still cannot believe it… This is such a shocking discovery… I never expected it…I never suspected…how is it possible?”