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Indira turned toward the camera. Lilac put a hand over her mouth. Bea said my name. I’d missed pregnancies, births, birthdays, a whole year of their lives, and all I could manage was hi.

“Are you all right?” Austen asked. “We’ve been trying to—” She stopped. “Is that her?”

Indira shifted the baby on her shoulder and leaned closer. “Oh, Wren.”

Sparrow gave the four faces a delighted squeal. She couldn’t know what they meant to me. I’d once imagined each of these women holding her. I’d had to stop doing that to get through the pregnancy.

“Look at her,” Lilac said. “She’s beautiful.”

“She is,” Austen whispered. She was looking at me as much as Sparrow.

“This is Sparrow.” My voice shook. I adjusted her on my hip so they could see her face. “She’s four months old.”

“She’s got your chin,” Indira said.

“Is she letting you sleep?” Bea asked over her.

Lilac turned toward the clubhouse kitchen. “Betty, come and—” She stopped. “Sorry, Wren. I wasn’t thinking.”

I tried to answer Bea, but Austen had gone quiet. She was looking at me with tears in her eyes, and that nearly undid me.

“I can’t do this properly right now,” I said. “I want to talk to you. I just didn’t expect to see you today.”

“All right,” Austen said at once. “Whenever you’re ready.”

I nodded, unable to promise when that would be.

“I’ll call you later,” Seb told them, and closed the laptop. I took Sparrow into the hall to settle her against my shoulder, though she was perfectly happy. I needed a minute for myself.

Seb came out and stopped beside the door.

“How often do you talk to them?” I asked.

“Every Sunday.” He watched my face. “I haven’t told them anything you didn’t want shared. When they ask about you, I tell them you’re well. That’s all.”

“Then what do you talk about for an hour?”

“The kids. Betty’s knee. Handful’s latest argument with Dutch.” His mouth twitched. “They tell me what’s happening at home.”

Sparrow sucked on my collar while I pictured Seb at this table every Sunday, listening to the women I’d once sat with in the clubhouse kitchen. “You’ve been doing that every week?”

“Since I got here.”

“You never mentioned it.”

“No.”

“I wouldn’t have asked you to stop.”

“I know.” He took a step toward me, then stayed where he was. “I didn’t know if seeing them would hurt. I’m sorry I let you walk in on it.”

“I’m glad I saw them.” I looked down at Sparrow. “I just didn’t expect it to hurt this much.”

“Austen asks about you almost every day,” he said.

I closed my eyes. I’d left every one of Austen’s messages unanswered, and she was still asking after me.

Sparrow shifted against my shoulder. Seb looked at her. “I bought some books. I didn’t know what she’d like.”