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‘Yes. Groups of products that logically belong together in the customer’s mind are displayed together.’

He takes a mouthful from his mug. ‘Like tea,’ he observes.

‘Exactly. You wouldn’t put tea and bleach together. You’d put all the teas in one place.’

‘I’d call that common sense rather than science.’

‘As a retailer, you want to encourage the customer to spend as much as possible, so you’d also put the premium teas at eye level, and the economy ones on the bottom shelves where they’re not so easy to see.’

‘Sneaky.’

‘Basic psychology. But after that comes the maths. You need to work out how much space to give each brand. Your customers will quickly get fed up if they can’t get the tea they want because the shelf is empty, so you need to allocate the right amount of space to each tea to try to prevent that happening.’

‘That makes sense. Again, it’s hardly rocket science, though.’

‘True, but then you have to try to work out what the customer will do if they can’t find the product they want. Will they buy another brand? If so, which one? Or will they simply abandon their trolley and walk out of the shop because you didn’t have that one thing?’

‘People don’t do that, do they?’

‘Absolutely they do. And, not only have you lost that trolley of sales, you have the cost of getting a store worker to put everything that’s already in the trolley back on the shelf. You may also lose the customer completely.’

‘How on earth do you find out what the customer is going to do?’

I smile. ‘That’s your next science. Data analysis. Do you have any loyalty cards?’

‘A couple.’

‘And why do you think retailers give those out? Is it because they think you’re a fantastic guy and they want to give you special deals?’

‘I’ve never really thought about it.’

‘Every time you scan your loyalty card, they capture everything you’ve bought that day. Over time, that allows them to build up a picture of you. The kinds of things you like, what you do when those things aren’t available. Combine that with the data from everyone else and you have a pretty good idea of what’s important to your customers.’

‘Bloody hell. It’s like the retail version of 1984! And you enable this? Shame on you.’

I laugh, my earlier discomfort completely forgotten. ‘I do. What’s more, I love it.’

‘I guess it takes all sorts to make a world,’ he observes wryly. ‘So, this presentation you’re working on…’

‘Most of the stuff I just described to you isn’t happening at Fresh Food Mart. Honestly, how customers find anything in there is a mystery to me. So, starting tomorrow, I’m going to introduce Jeremiah and his buddies to the basics, and we’ll build up from there. I think it’s going to blow his mind, particularly when we start to look at customer decision trees.’

‘Dare I ask?’

‘I think we’ve done enough retail for one day,’ I tell him. ‘Quid pro quo and all that. I’ll tell you more when you’ve told me a bit about your work.’

‘Then we’re in a tricky situation,’ he says, leaning back in his chair. ‘Because, as you’re aware⁠—’

‘You don’t know anything about work at the weekends,’ I interrupt.

‘Exactly. So, if you’re not going to tell me any more about the magical science of retail, and I can’t tell you anything about whatever it is I do, what on earth are we going to talk about?’

He reaches into the packet and takes out another biscuit, adopting a thoughtful expression as he chews it, like he’s really trying to come up with something. As the silence extends, it starts to become awkward again. The elephant in the room has crept out onto the balcony and is sitting between us. Nathan is obviously aware of it too, if his next question is anything to go by.

‘Would you like to talk about what happened this morning?’ he asks. ‘I mean, there’s absolutely no pressure but you’re here, and I’m here, and it’s here…’

‘I was assaulted. At university,’ I say quietly after a while. As soon as the words are out, I’m regretting them. I’m waiting for one of the inevitable platitudes that people trot out when they have no idea what to say but Nathan’s response, when it comes, catches me completely by surprise.

‘I thought so,’ he murmurs.