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“Okay, I just don’t want you stressing because of me.”

“You’re worth stressing over.” I bite my lip. “But I’m not. Don’t worry.”

I’m so fucking stressed.

“I always want to see you,” she says softly, a small sniffle coming from her end. “It’s just hard when you leave.”

I close my eyes for a moment and pinch the bridge of my nose. I’ve never hated myself as much as I have ever since I left. My girlfriend who told me––right when we met––that she has a fear of people leaving her. And I told her I’m not leaving her, but then I did. I disappeared without a concrete plan for our future. All I said is that we’d “figure it out.”

I am such an idiot.

“I’m sorry.” It’s all that comes out of my mouth.

My impending visit was supposed to make her happy, but it’s clearly the opposite.

“It’s not your fault,” she says.

“It is.”

She doesn’t fight me on it, and the silence stretches between us. My phone is pressed to my ear, and I wait for her to say something. Anything. But she doesn’t.

“I’m sorry too,” she says after a few minutes go by.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” I force myself to sit upright.

“This isn’t really working, is it?”

I feel sick to my stomach. I know where this is going, but I’m not going to accept it.

“I’ll make it work, I promise. When can I come?”

“Hayden … it’s not––Can I call tomorrow?” Her voice sounds shaky. “I can’t do this right now.”

I’m so fucked.

“Yeah, of course––” I don’t get to finish my sentence because she already hung up.

I’m not where I’m supposed to be.

I’m supposed to be with Robin.

Her words haunt me. “This isn’t really working, is it?” I’m almost certain she was on the verge of breaking up with me.

My heart races as I close my eyes and imagine my future. And all alone, in my dark apartment, away from everyone’s expectations, I see it vividly. The truth is, I know exactly what to do.

And for once, I choose myself.

Chapter 38

Robin

“Mortimer, please move your butt.”

I turn in my bed, moving away from my cat who decided to stick his butt right in my face. It’s not the first thing I want to see in the morning. Well, it’s not anything I ever need to see.

I stifle a groan as I sit upright and rub my eyes.

I hate mornings.