Page 71 of Love Lessons

Dustin knew that he should ask Marco some of his questions. Maybe like, is it always this intense? Or, is it weird that I want to have Landon with me every second of the day, and when he isn’t, I want to know where he is? Or, how do I know if I’m doing it right? And especially, what the fuck did I do wrong?

That last one was probably his job to figure out.

Dustin didn’t feel comfortable enough to ask for advice, though. At least not in front of Ash and with Landon flitting around the room and sometimes coming back to sit beside him.

Instead, he just watched Ash flirt with Marco, hoping that Ash might ask some question that would open up the conversation into something he wanted to know. There weren’t a lot of questions, though.

He learned that Ash was into age play, but, like, the baby age that wouldn’t have fit Landon. And they were into puppy play which was… another thing that he’d need to look up at home. After that, though, Ash stopped playing the comparing kinks game because it was clear that Marco wasn’t interested, and the conversation drifted on.

He didn’t learn as much about Marco, except that he wasn’t into age play and that, while he was mostly amused by Ash's flirtation, he was also a little exasperated.

Dustin wasn’t sure if he was hurt or comforted that Ash flirted with everyone, since that’s what Landon seemed to be doing, too.

It was… unnerving. Worse than the last munch. Because nothing had changed, and everything had changed.

Last night, Lena had been his rebellious teen sweetheart who covered him with pink lipstick kisses. Landon had given him the power over his very senses. And Dustin had fallen asleep with the scent of Landon’s skin in every breath.

And now Landon was flirting with someone else, some tiny, elegant woman with perfect posture who no doubt knew more about whips or rope or something than Dustin could ever hope to learn.

That was the other reason why he wasn’t really participating in the conversation. Because he was watching Landon. Needing to know where he was and what he was doing, even if he was powerless to stop it.

Landon would laugh and flirt, and then look over at Dustin and wave. But there was something sad under his eyes.

It made Dustin’s chest hurt.

It was worse when Landon finally came over to him and sat right down on his lap. Like he belonged there. Like he didn’t even need to ask.

And God, Dustin wanted that. He wanted Landon to claim him publicly like that. To be so confident in his care that he wouldn’t even have to ask.

But then, then, Landon started flirting with Marco. Right there in front of him, still sitting on his lap.

It was like poison running through his veins. Slow and inevitable. Knowing that you were dying and helpless to stop it.

A waitress came by and dropped off his food, a beautiful, golden omelet with potatoes and salad. It made his stomach turn.

Landon hopped off his lap and went to go sort out his meal since he’d ordered it from the other end of the table.

Marco gave Dustin a sad look. Like he understood, though how he possibly could was beyond Dustin’s comprehension. You should tell your boyfriend that you don’t like it when he flirts with other people, he suggested gently.

He’s not my boyfriend.

But you want him to be?

Knowing that Ash was watching all of this avidly, he answered anyway. I don’t think that’s what he wants, so it doesn’t matter.

He watches you all the time, though. I thought it was a game you two were playing at first.

Could that be a game? Maybe, if they both agreed on it. If Landon was his. But right now it was unfathomable.

He watches me?

All the time, Ash answered while Marco nodded.

It was something, but not enough. And when Landon turned back to them, holding his plate victoriously with his mouth happy and his eyes pretending not to be sad, it was too much.

I’m sorry. I have to go. Dustin didn’t say it to Landon. He didn’t really say it to anyone.

He just said it and left.