Page 85 of All In

I take off after him, reaching for him. “Harlow, wait.”

He looks at me, and the tears clinging to his lashes nearly stop my heart. “What? What more could you possibly want? You’re lying to me. You won’t just tell me the fucking truth, and you’ve thrown our marriage in my face.”

I shake my head. “I didn’t throw it in your face.”

He pulls his arm from my grasp. “You told me you wanted to annul our marriage because you knew it would turn out bad.” I open my mouth to speak, but he cuts me off. “You didn’t have to stay married to me. I know I asked, but you could have said no. I—” His voice cracks, and he brings a hand up to wipe away the tears that have fallen down his cheeks. “I thought you were happy with it. I know it wasn’t really your plan. It wasn’t mine either. But you could have said no.”

I couldn’t have. I didn’t stand a chance. I didn’t want to say no. The time I’ve had with Harlow has been the most amazing of my life. I wouldn’t want to change it for anything.

“What did you want me to say, Harlow?”

Fresh tears well up in his eyes. “I just wanted you to tell me the truth,” he whispers, a heartbreaking waver in his voice.

I can’t handle it. Seeing him cry is tearing me apart. He didn’t even cry after he got left at the altar. Not once. I can’t live in a world where I’m causing him pain. I just can’t. I inhale deeply, my heart in my throat. “Do you want me to tell you I love you? That I’m in love with you?” His eyes blow wide. “Do you want me to tell you that yes, I was serious when I asked you to marry me? That I’ve been serious since I was twelve?”

He steps closer, his body swaying toward mine, but I can’t stop talking. My mouth is running away from me, and I don’t know how to stop it.

“Do you want to know that all I’ve ever wanted is you? That from the time I knew what it meant to want someone, it was you I wanted? That I’ve spent my entire life hoping and wishing that you would see me? That you would want me back?”

I have to touch him.

I need to.

I don’t even know if he’ll want me to.

I can’t stop it.

Cupping his face, I brush my thumbs over his beautiful freckles. “Do you want me to admit that watching you almost marry Josh was the worst day of my life and that him leaving you standing there made me feel so fucking guilty because I was happy? I was happy, Harlow. He left you there, and I was happy about it because it meant I didn’t have to watch you marry someone else. The worst day of your fucking life, and I was relieved. Is that what you want me to say?”

My chest is heaving with each of my ragged inhales as Harlow stares at me in stunned silence. Then he’s lurching forward, crashing into me as he slams his mouth onto mine.

A wounded sound leaves my throat as I tighten my grip on him and kiss him back. He pulls away all too soon, and I hate it, letting him go even though I don’t want to. What if that’s the last time I get to kiss him and I didn’t even cherish it properly? What if I never get to feel his lips on mine again?

“Is that the truth?” Harlow whispers so quietly I almost miss it.

Chapter 26

Harlow

Gray’s hands are trembling where he’s still gripping my face, his breath fanning across my lips with every ragged exhale. My head’s a mess, my heart pounding in a furious rhythm.

“Yes,” he whispers. “Yes, that’s the truth.”

A million butterflies take flight in my stomach, and I surge forward again, catching his mouth with mine. His fingers tighten on my face, then slide up into my hair.

I don’t know what this means. I don’t know what any of this means. I don’t know what it means for us or for our friendship. I don’t know what it means for our marriage. I don’t know what it means that my heart is beating too fast and my body is shaking.

All I know is that Grayson loves me. He loves me. He’s in love with me. And he always has been, and I—I think I might be too. In love with him, that is.

But I’m so confused. It feels like nothing has changed. But somehow everything has at the same time. I don’t understand.

Grayson’s hands are still shaking where they’re buried in my hair. He’s here. He’s touching me. And God, I want him. Close isn’t close enough. It never has been.

It’s like I didn’t even know I could want him this way. Like it never clicked in my brain. Until it did. And now I don’t know what’s happening or what to think.

Gray makes a soft sound against my lips, his fingers sliding through my hair as he pulls me closer.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers into our kiss.